It can seem like the world is dragging us down at times, and it doesn’t help if those around us drain our energy by being ugly, untactful or pessimistic.
I recently received an email asking what we can do to not let the negative energy of others affect us so much.
My primary suggestion is to fortify your life with mindful living and self-care as a buffer.
The second thing I would say is that we have more control over who/what we let into our weird little worlds than we think.
That is to say, it’s helpful to become more cognizant of where we are physically putting our body and around whom – to be aware of how we feel around certain people.
Workplace aside, we can intentionally find nourishing environments to help counterbalance and neutralize the negativity:
- Dog park
- Hiking/nature trail
- Quiet place to read
- Meditation outdoors
- Yoga studio
- Gym
- Coffee shop
- Co-ed sports (e.g. kickball, volleyball, softball, etc.)
- Meetup group of interest (e.g. meditation, yoga, reiki, etc.)
- Lunch with a good friend
Oddly enough, we can be slightly attracted to chaos and chaotic people and not even realize it.
Whether part of us attracts negative people, or if we are simply unlucky, the formula for delivering us from chaotic people is the same.
Awareness + Movement: Awareness of what we don’t want, and movement towards what we do want.
Simple, but not easy.
Over recent years, I’ve discovered that I’m a sensitive soul, and my feelings get hurt easily (aw, Chris needs a hug).
It was important for me to carve out those people in my life who were generally sarcastic and unthoughtful towards those around them. Pessimists and emotional vampires and anyone who was draining my positive energy had to go.
Not because they are “bad” people, but because I’m in charge of taking care of myself.
I do much better around people who are generally more mature, vibrant, and compassionate, and I surround myself with those kinds of people.
Or none at all.
I spend a lot of time walking outdoors, alone. But not alone, if you catch my drift. It’s also true that some of our loved ones may fit the description of “energy vampire,” and for those cases, I limit my exposure.
Again, not from a “being better than them” position, but from a self-care/self-compassion standpoint.
Remember, truly loving yourself and taking care of your wellbeing is not selfish; it enables you to show up 100 percent for others. You have more to offer the world.
Also, I routinely watch educational TV shows and motivational YouTube clips that echo the mantra, “Don’t give up.” I listen to a handful of positive podcasts hosted by intelligent minds who speak of self-cultivation when I’m in transit. I INTENTIONALLY fill my day with this kind of stuff all throughout.
I do this routinely, like taking a shower or brushing my teeth. This is what I call “spiritual fitness” that fosters my emotional well-being.
Action Steps:
- Become more aware of other people’s energy around you throughout the day.
- Ask yourself, “Am I feeling drained, or am I feeling nourished around this person?”
- Spend time alone at the end of the day and reflect on what feels authentically good in your life.
- Slowly begin to phase out what isn’t serving you well, and move closer towards the positive forces in your life.
- Meditate a little more each day, as this will help clarify and provide direction.
- Take time to pause throughout your day and just breathe slowly and deeply.