Do you feel like you’re going through life’s motions without any particular direction? If so, you may be wondering how to find yourself again. Before beginning, you must realize that you’re not alone. No matter if you’re feeling lost because of your career, a relationship, a bad habit, or that you feel lost in general, it happens to everyone at one point in their lives.
It might take a substantial amount of time to learn how to find yourself again, but don’t let that discourage you. You must be inquisitive and have a constant urge to explore. Every effort you make toward finding yourself is incredibly worthwhile. The main reason is you’re learning your true identity and experiencing an awakening. You’re embarking upon one of the most significant quests toward self-discovery in your life.
Many people go through a large portion of their lives, not knowing their real selves. That might be because too much time listening to our inner critics or negative people around us. As a result, we continue going through life without asking a critical question—who am I? Learning how to find yourself again isn’t an act of selfishness, and it’s not a self-centered goal. Instead, you’re becoming more valuable in society.
What that means is, to be a valuable member of society and the best child, parent, and partner, you must first understand who you are and what makes you unique. Developing this understanding helps you become aware of what you value, as well as what you have to offer. There are several benefits to embarking on this personal journey. One of the most significant benefits is you can reconnect with your authentic self. In this guide, we’re discussing how to find yourself again and why this is important.
One of Your Most Important Skill Sets
Learning how to find yourself again is one of the most important skills you can possess. When you’re secure regarding who you are, you know what you must do next. However, without this security or knowledge, you might continuously seek permission from others to validate what you already know you should be doing.
When you understand how to find yourself again, you’re bypassing a lot of frustration you might experience by putting time and effort into the wrong things. Yes, life is all about going through periods of trial and error. However, when you know who you are, it’s easier to identify the best areas for experimentation.
Finding yourself also helps boost your self-confidence. The main reason is that you’ll have a better understanding not only of who you are but your purpose as well. That understanding will help you take steps toward leading a more impactful and positive life.
Let’s look at some steps you can take toward learning how to find yourself again. By taking these steps, you’ll have an opportunity to figure out who you are, how you fit into the world around you, and which direction to go in from here.
Be Aware of “Now”
It isn’t uncommon for those who feel lost to have an overwhelming need to learn how to find themselves again. These feelings can creep up on anyone at any time throughout their lives. However, it’s most common when individuals experience a significant life change.
Ask yourself if significant changes have or are occurring in your life. These changes can include feeling grief from the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, or other situations. If you’re experiencing a break-up, financial difficulty, becoming a new parent, or moving to a new location, these feelings can occur.
No matter what significant changes are occurring, it’s critical to acknowledge them and be present in the moment. Whenever anyone experiences a significant life change, feelings of uncertainty might follow. Even if you already know who you are, your circumstances may make you feel uncertain.
If you still need to learn how to find yourself again, dealing with the stresses in your life might be taking priority. Learning how to cope with these stressful or overwhelming circumstances is your first step toward understanding who you are while learning how to deal with stress that accompanies these significant life changes.
Understand Your Past
When you want to figure out how you go to where you are now, it helps knowing where you came from and how it relates to your life experiences. When you see how you reached where you are in your life, that knowledge will help you determine who you are, your direction, and how to accomplish your goals.
Create a list of events throughout your life that influence your beliefs and feelings about yourself. When writing this list, be sure to include both the negative and positive things you experienced. Every experience from your past helped shape the person you are today. When writing this list, be prepared to learn something about yourself that you weren’t aware of previously.
When developing this list, you’ll likely go through periods of sadness and love. Try not to delve too deeply into overly emotional areas of your past life. The goal here is to list significant occurrences and then move on from them. This list will also help you discover your moral code of conduct. You can find yourself by understanding your moral code of ethics and values.
Stop Listening to Negativity
Do you know how to distinguish your beliefs from those around you? During this step, you need to spend some time alone. Block out thoughts that could be keeping you from discovering yourself again. For example, if you experienced abuse as a child, you might have a stream of negative thoughts rolling through your mind that always tell you lies about yourself.
When that happens, it might be more challenging to discover your authentic self. As a result, you might experience difficulty regarding goal achievement. If those thoughts persist, you might find yourself feeling stuck. You might also feel stuck if you allow society to compartmentalize you into a “winner” or “loser” category. You must block that out and take a positive step toward self-discovery.
Embrace Your Individuality
You’re a unique individual. Assessing your past and present while simultaneously turning the noise off around you is critical while embracing your individuality. During this step toward learning how to find yourself again, you’re making two more lists.
List one:
Develop a list outlining every positive thing you’ve accomplished up until this point in your life. Spend some time writing each of your accomplishments, as well as why you believe they’re an essential part of the list. By taking this step, you’re developing an understanding of your role in society and your positive impact on the world around you.
List two:
Create a list of goals outlining what you would love to achieve throughout your life. When fleshing out this list, ask yourself:
- What regrets would I have if I don’t accomplish this goal?
- Would I be content with going my life without doing this?
- If money were no object, what would you do with your life?
In the first question, you’re writing down goals and achievements you believe you would regret “not” doing and why you think this. The second question is about creating a list of your passions if there were no obstacles.
Find Organization
If you’re a disorganized person, you’ll benefit from developing a system of organizing when learning how to find yourself again. Those who already know about excellent organizational skills might feel this step is unnecessary. However, learning how to find yourself involves taking concrete steps toward achieving that goal. Therefore, finding organization strategies is valuable for everyone. For example, if you live surrounded by clutter, that can become an obstacle regarding learning how to find yourself again.
Examine your life and determine where “spring cleaning” must occur. This step can include the physical act of going through your room or house and cleaning. Or, you might find it more beneficial to develop a schedule for a given week or month and work towards following it most of the time. Taking this step involves putting your needs before your wants. It also consists of saying, “no” more often if you’re a “people pleaser.” People pleasers often get stuck and rarely know their authentic selves.
Taking this step also means depending on yourself and learning how to trust your judgment. Developing an organized life is a positive way for you to gain self-reliance and self-confidence. When you can depend on yourself, that’s a step toward finding your self-worth. Even if others can rely on you, if you’re unable to rely on yourself, it’s more challenging to discover your authentic self. Make a plan for your future, develop a budget, make decisions for yourself, and hold yourself accountable for consequences related to your choices.
Learn How to Be Yourself
Throughout this guide, you’ve learned about the various tools regarding how to find yourself again. These include learning about your past and how it shaped you into the person you are today, turning off negative thoughts, listening to your positive voice, uncovering your moral code, organizing your life, trusting your judgment, and relying on yourself.
Taking each of those steps reveals more and more about your authentic self. Now that you know how to embrace these tools, it’s time to learn how to be yourself. Learning how to be yourself is part of the journey of learning how to find yourself again. The last thing you should do is live someone else’s life. You have a unique identity that will help you decide which path to take and how you fit into the world around you.
Don’t Be Afraid to Get Lost
For some, to truly discover who they are, they must get lost first. Being okay with “getting lost” is an integral part of learning how to find yourself again. Let’s look at several ways you can go about healing your inner world and learn how to find yourself again during times when you feel lost.
Connect to Yourself by Unplugging
It’s no mystery we’re living in a technology-driven society. While everyone is connecting to various forms of technology and media, it’s easy to feel a disconnect from your authentic self.
No matter the time it is, or your location, modern technology allows us to connect to anyone. In a matter of seconds, we use this tool to access endless amounts of information and knowledge. However, this tool has also caused us to disconnect from each other, ourselves, and our lives.
Many might use technology to escape from what’s happening in their lives around them. Computers make it easy for that to happen by creating a “virtual” reality. While this life is similar to ours, it’s not quite the same.
Ask yourself this—what would happen if you did a digital detox for one day, a week, or an entire month. Would that make you feel anxious? The act of unplugging is more than disconnecting yourself from the digital world. Instead, you’re refocusing on what’s essential in your life.
Consider making a daily routine to switch off emotionally and mentally from all forms of technology. Even if you can only do this for one hour, it’s worth the effort. Remove all digital distractions and reconnect with yourself, your environment, and those with whom you’re sharing that environment.
Don’t Be Afraid of Taking Risks
Here’s another example of where you must be honest with yourself. Do you live in a way whereby you’re playing it a little bit too safe? For example, when you spend too much time within the confines of your comfort zone, do you feel uninspired and bored?
One of the most significant reasons so many people are experiencing unhappiness is because they’re choosing mediocrity over taking risks. They decide to follow a safe route instead of shaking the boat.
The problem is that, when you play it safe, you aren’t getting anywhere. For many, this is the quickest route to feeling lost in life. You would never grow if life were predictable, and you never changed. Change is a constant in life we must accept. So, don’t be afraid of getting uncomfortable and discovering your authentic self.
Challenge Your Inner Critic
If you want to learn how to find yourself again, you must challenge your inner critic and break the habit of being yourself. If you find yourself always saying, “I’m unfixable,” or “I’m lost,” those thoughts will continue attracting those things to your life.
Your inner critic consistently makes you worry about what others might be thinking about you or what might happen in your life. When you’re feeling lost, it’s natural to allow yourself to become comfortable with that, which isn’t fulfilling. If you allow yourself to live in the “lost” trap for too long, then you might eventually accept it as your reality.
Think about what your inner critic sounds like—if it’s negative, you can reprogram those thought processes. Consider reciting daily affirmations as a reminder that what you’re currently experiencing in life isn’t permanent.
About Finding Yourself and Achieving Happiness
No one likes experiencing transitions or changes—they’re uncomfortable and, sometimes, they cause anxiety. No matter if you’re changing a job, going through a divorce, or moving to a new neighborhood, these transitional times aren’t easy. So, what do you do when those transitions make you feel lost? Let’s look at some ways that will bring a few steps closer to learning how to find yourself again and achieve happiness.
Don’t Discount the Power of Journaling
One of the best ways to experience an authentic conversation with yourself, and silence your inner critic, is by writing in a journal. Using this tool allows you to go dive “inward” by expressing your innermost feelings and thoughts. What’s best about journaling is you’re communicating all of these feelings and ideas in a judgment-free environment.
Practice Mindful Meditation
Mindful meditation allows you to experience peace within your mind and clear out all unnecessary clutter. In doing so, you’re creating a space for new ideas and thoughts to surface and flow freely. You’re also allowing yourself to dive deeper into your consciousness. In doing so, you’re reconnecting with your authentic self in a distraction-free environment.
Try Yoga
Just like meditation, yoga is an excellent way of clearing your mind and getting centered. Through the use of movement, you’re getting into touch with your physical being. In doing so, you’re allowing yourself to detach from what’s causing you stress emotionally. It isn’t necessary to take an expensive yoga class to get the most out of this practice. Instead, pick up a mat and use a guided video.
Embrace Your Creative Side
Finding yourself through creativity is an enjoyable process. Can you remember creating art when you were a child? Can you remember how freeing, fun, and powerful those feelings were? Engage in whatever type of skill that helps you feel good about yourself. In doing so, you can develop a better understanding of who you are and your authentic self. You don’t have to have expert skills to enjoy being creative.
Don’t Forget the Importance of Reading
In your efforts to learn how to find yourself again, reading holds many possibilities. For example, you could read the biographies of individuals who have experiences that are similar to yours. Or, if you prefer fiction, reading offers you many opportunities for relaxing while broadening your imagination. When you can let go of some of life’s stresses while reading, that allows you to open yourself up to more self-exploration.
Enjoy the Outdoors
If you’re spending many hours inside for your job, you’ll find this strategy incredibly beneficial. It’s easy to get cooped up when working from day-to-day and, as a result, feeling lost. Spending time in nature allows you to find peace within yourself while learning more about who you are as an individual. Consider hiking, biking, or going for a walk. There are dozens of opportunities for getting outside and enjoying nature.
Schedule Quiet Time Daily
We all live in a schedule-driven society in one way or another. Our work is according to a schedule, we can’t go to a doctor unless we schedule an appointment, and we visit other people based on their calendars. Because this is something we’re already used to, planning quiet time is a no-brainer. Set aside some time to drink coffee, meditate, do yoga, read, or whatever else you want to do in the quiet. In doing so, you’re allowing yourself to reflect and reconnect.
Re-establish Old Friendships
When you talk to genuine friends, those individuals who love you and know you well, that’s an excellent way of reminding yourself of who you are authentically. Those traits include your most appealing, positive, and winning characteristics. This practice will also reveal your genuine flaws so you can learn which things you must work on during this self-exploration.
Don’t Forget to Play
When was the last time you experienced enjoyment? Can you remember what it was like when you were a child playing? Aside from making you feel happy and invincible, playing helps you relieve stress and allows you to relax. Engaging in fun sensory experiences will help you learn how to find yourself again. Think about something you enjoy for the sake of doing it—like going to the beach, swimming, or dancing.
Don’t Be Afraid of Meeting New People
Part of learning how to find yourself again is breaking away from the “norm” and meeting new people. When was the last time you allocated some time and went out into your community for the sake of meeting new people? Not only does this practice redefine who you are as an individual, but it allows you to connect with your inner self. When you’re meeting new people, you can throw away the preconceived notion others have of you and be your real self.
Take a New Class
You might already have to take classes for your work or because you want to learn more about a particular exercise or whatnot. When was the last time you decided to take a class that you based solely on your interests? Do you feel like you need to reinvigorate those interests by taking a new class? If so, you can do that while simultaneously learning how to find yourself again and meeting other like-minded individuals. If you feel like your life is stagnant, then taking classes will help alleviate those feelings.
Take a Trip Down Memory Lane
Are you the type who likes to hold on to childhood mementos? If so, remembering your childhood is an excellent way of finding yourself again. Look at items depicting where you come from, the changes in life you’ve navigated since childhood, and how much you’ve grown. During this practice, you’re reconnecting with how you defined and identified yourself during your childhood. You’re also looking at how you envisioned your adult self, as well as other parts of your future.
Do What You Used to Love to Do
Sometimes, when we get caught up in the everyday routines of life, we forget about the things we used to love to do. Take a few minutes to brainstorm what those things are and why you stopped doing them. Then, take a few more minutes to devise a plan for how to start doing them again. That might mean setting up a travel itinerary or putting various events on your calendar. Then, be proactive about doing these things. In doing so, you’ll reconnect with that person who would become engrossed with enjoyment.
Don’t Be Afraid to Dream Big
As we grow older, it’s common for us to forget the beauty in life that surrounds us. As a result, we experience boredom and become too used to the mundane parts of our lives. That’s where reconnecting with yourself through dreaming big comes into play. Don’t make excuses but, instead, develop a plan for committing yourself to one or more of these dreams.
Can you remember the dreams you had before you took the path your life has you on currently? Write down as many dreams that you can remember. Do you believe they are improbable, impossible, or childish because of the person you now are today? Explore this further in your journal and, while you’re doing that, create new dreams you can work toward achieving.
Ask yourself questions like:
- If you could be anyone who would you choose and why?
- What aspirations, dreams, or goals would you like to achieve?
- Define what you would like to do with your life.
- Can you determine what your soul is aching for regarding dreams or goals?
When you take the time to reconnect with your dreams, that allows you to feel inspired. That will lead to a desire to take action. As a result, you’ll be more likely to make many of your dreams a reality while learning how to find yourself again.
Final Thoughts
It might seem obvious but, ultimately, the goal is to become the person you always envision. This life is yours and, for that reason, you have the right to be happy while being yourself. Taking steps toward learning how to find yourself again is worth every effort.