You’ve probably heard it said; people are creatures of habit. So much of our lives fall into predictable patterns. Most of us have some sort of daily schedule. We get up at the same time every morning, go to bed around the same time every night, and have other schedules throughout our day.
Everything, from which trains or roads we take to get to work in the morning at what time, to what we eat for dinner, and when we run errands, all have some sort of predictable structure. There may be some minor day to day variances, but generally, most of our days follow a pattern. Perhaps, for this very reason, our brains react so strongly when something unexpected happens.
Why Is It Good to Be Unpredictable?
Many times we mistakenly view unpredictability in a negative light. We trick ourselves into thinking that something different is automatically wrong, but this couldn’t be further from the truth. Despite the fact that as adults, we tend to have very specific routines, our brains actually crave things and experiences that are new and novel.
Think about the last vacation you went on. Where did you go? What did you do? Did you go someplace new or at least different from your surroundings for the rest of the year? Did you follow a different schedule while you were away? You probably did, and let’s be honest; you probably enjoyed it. That’s the positive power of unpredictability.
The same principle applies to books, TV shows, and movies we enjoy. We relish the intrigue of whodunits and hook-ups. Scandals are fun, and we have far more love and respect for heroes who have been nearly destroyed by a series of unexpected horrors and heartbreaks. We live vicariously through them, embracing that which we often lack in our own lives.
Of course, you don’t have to compete in the Hunger Games or face off against a mad queen who is the “Mother of Dragons” to be unpredictable. You can be unpredictable by merely choosing to be open to new experiences and giving yourself permission to take risks. That’s not to say you have to be a daredevil or do it always, but occasionally changing things up can have impressive results.
What Ways Is Unpredictability Beneficial?
Unpredictability can be beneficial in a number of ways. In business, it can help you in negotiating deals and contracts. In your personal life, it can help break unhealthy relationship patterns and spice up your sex life. It can also help you build new friendships and strengthen those already established. In your career, it can make you stand out from your co-workers and land you that promotion you want.
When you act in a way, no one suspects it gives you the advantage. Like it or not, the fact is others are always judging us. Other people are continually analyzing us and trying to predict how we are going to react to something or what our next move is going to be.
Sometimes other people’s motives for this are positive, sometimes negative, but either way, the fact remains; being predictable allows you to manipulated more easily. Unpredictability enables you to stay in control and call your own shots because you keep other people off balance and constantly guessing. Here are some other benefits of unpredictability.
- More vibrant social life
- Forces you to pay attention instead of going on auto-pilot
- Increases problem-solving skills
- Gets people interested in you
- Earns you respect
What is the Nature of Unpredictability?
Before getting into how to be unpredictable, let’s take a look at what unpredictability is and what it isn’t. There is a difference between being unpredictable and doing something completely insane. Unpredictability involves taking calculated risks, not putting yourself at risk by doing something reckless or dangerous.
You want to keep people guessing, but you don’t want people thinking you’re mentally and emotionally unstable. The goal is to get people to respect and admire you not to make them scared of you.
What Unpredictability Looks Like
Unpredictability looks like saying yes to new people and new experiences. It involves going out of your comfort zone and trying something new. If you want to be unpredictable, you shouldn’t overthink things. You should take on a challenge even if you’re not entirely sure how you’re going to execute it. You should also keep your plans, opinions, and emotions to yourself until the last minute.
What Unpredictability Doesn’t Look Like
Unpredictability is not doing what you want to do all the time. If you occasionally do something that isn’t true to your personality, then when you do something that actually is true to your character, they do not expect it. Unpredictability isn’t defending your stance but rather reflecting back other people’s position. It is not fighting in your style but using the other person’s method against them.
How Can I Be Unpredictable In Business?
Unpredictability is a powerful tool for business. When it comes to negotiating deals or creating contracts, unpredictability gives you the advantage. Being unpredictable in this way involves being emotionally inconsistent during negotiations. Switching back and forth between angry and happy emotional reactions during negotiations makes the other party feel like they have less control.
Recently, the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology reported that in a series of experiments studying concession-making in negotiations, it was discovered that, when one party couldn’t predict the other party’s emotions, the first party was more likely to comply with terms set forth by the other party.
Unpredictability doesn’t have to be limited to negotiating deals. However, it can also be used in your business model, as well. When a company does something unexpected, it gets people talking, and you get yourself noticed. People have a high regard for innovation. As more people learn about your company and what you’re doing that’s different from everyone else, sales also tend to increase.
According to the Pew Research Center, 2019 saw a rise in consumers getting their news updates from Social Media. According to the report, 55% of U.S. adults now get their news from social media either “often” or “sometimes.” Social media is a great way to get a lot of free press in a short amount of time, and nothing gets people talking like doing something new.
How Can I Be Unpredictable In Relationships?
Unpredictability can also make or break your personal relationships as well. Think about how you met your best friends, your partner/spouse. It probably required you to take some sort of risk or do something out of the ordinary. Either you or the other person had to initiate the conversation with someone they didn’t know, and the other had to choose to engage them.
We are all warned about the dangers of talking to strangers as children. However, as adults doing something unpredictable, like striking up a conversation with a stranger opens the door to meeting new people and forming new connections. You will still need to show some discernment, you don’t want to do something to put yourself in danger, but being open to others adds variety to life.
Unpredictability in Romantic Relationships
Unpredictably isn’t limited to initiating relationships but also maintaining them. At first, just getting to know this new person is enough to keep your dates and conversations interesting, but as time goes by, you get to know each other and fall into particular behavior patterns and roles. While this isn’t a bad thing, it does get a little dull sometimes.
You do not have to do something new and crazy every day, but trying a unique experience once in a while is a great way to keep things interesting. Be spontaneous, grab your partner and take off to the city for the day, or just get in the car, pick a road and see where you end up. Try a new experience, not merely going to a new restaurant, but something completely new like skydiving.
You don’t necessarily have to spend a lot of money to be unpredictable or even go somewhere new. Doing something sweet like surprising your partner with a romantic dinner when they come home after a long day at work is also a way of being unpredictable.
Trying a new experience in the bedroom can also be a fun and intimate way to be unpredictable. Try a different position, buy a sex toy, and figure out how to use it together. Not only can it be fun, but as you explore something intimate and new together, it can help bring you closer and build a new level of trust between you.
Unpredictability in Friendships
Friendships, like romantic relationships, can also fall into a rut sometimes. If you go out with your girlfriends or hang out with the guys you and do the same things in the same places, it also gets boring. As you get older, and you start to get busy with your spouse or family, you see less and less of your friends. Everyone has different schedules and responsibilities, and you begin to drift.
Being unpredictable in your friendships can help keep you in touch with your friends. Try a girl or guys weekend getaway somewhere none of the group have been before. Don’t overthink it, just do it. Of course, this may take a little planning and might not be completely unpredictable, but it is different enough to give you that sense of novelty and a new way to connect with your friends.
If getting away for a weekend isn’t possible, there are still other ways you can be unpredictable in your friendships. Randomly send a card or call up a friend out of the blue you have not spoken to in a while. They’ll be happy to hear from you and touched that you thought of them.
How Can I Be Unpredictable In My Career?
In your career, sometimes unpredictability is what makes you hand in your two-weeks notice or accept that transfer. It might require you to try something new or offer an idea in a meeting that may sound crazy or risky. Yet that idea can make you stand out from your co-workers and win a future promotion. Leaving the job you hate, can open new doors, and lead to greater fulfillment.
One of the best ways to gain respect from others in your career is by taking on the hard jobs others don’t want to do. Whether clearly stated or not, people can tell which tasks are more straightforward and which are more detailed and labor-intensive. Most people, given a choice, will stick to the more manageable tasks that are less intimidating, so when you pick the harder one, it’s unexpected, and people take notice.
Being unpredictable in your career can also involve trying for a new job or a new promotion even if you don’t feel like you’re fully qualified or have the necessary experience for it. Experience is undoubtedly helpful, but it can also lead to very rigid ways of thinking. Self-confidence can speak more for a person than expertise. A willingness to try new ideas and learn new things can make you an incredible asset to a company or other professional group.
Be the person who goes to that conference, attends that talk, or takes that course that will help jump-start your career and personal growth as a leader. Don’t do it all the time, or you may look like you’re trying too hard, or others may start volunteering you for things, and you’ll find you are no longer the one in control. Do it every once in a while, and you’ll throw people happily off guard.
How Can I Be Unpredictable In My Life?
Life is going to throw you curveballs, whether you want it to or not. Unpredictability is what makes life beautiful and exciting, but can also make it terrifying. It’s an unfortunate but necessary fact to accept that not all unpredictability in life if fun. A health crisis, a job loss, a relationship problem, the birth of a special needs child are just a few very serious and frightening examples of this.
Up to this point, the conversation has been about ways you can be unpredictable and throw others off their guards, but what happens when you’re the one who’s getting thrown off your guard? The fact is embracing unpredictability is not always a choice; sometimes it’s a necessity for survival. It takes more than being witty and fun. It takes real courage when facing something unexpected.
When something happens in your life that was not part of the plan, you have two choices.
- You can do what others would do in the same situation
- You can try a different solution
If you want to be unpredictable, go with option two. We can’t always control a situation, but we can always control how we react to that situation. The universe doesn’t care whether something is fair or not. It doesn’t care about our feelings. Accept these facts and don’t do what other people do, don’t sit there feeling sorry for yourself or fall victim to your desires.
We all have things we want. We all have patterns of thought that we follow, but when an outside force disrupts your ability to pursue the goals you wish to, or your current habits are keeping you trapped, you have to break those patterns. To be unpredictable, you need to make a conscious effort to change your own designs. Deal with disruptions, by causing your own disruptions.
What Are Some Other Ways to Be Unpredictable?
With a little creativity, you can invent a lot of ways to be unpredictable. Doing things that are fun and silly without much effort is a great way to strengthen relationships both in your personal and public life. Bringing a Nerf gun to work and have random Nerf battles in your office is a fun and simple way to be unpredictable.
Showing up at a family Christmas party with you and your partner wearing matching Ugly Christmas Sweaters when it’s not an ugly sweater party is also a way to be unpredictable. It will take people by surprise and form a fun new bond between you and your partner as co-conspirators. Being unpredictable doesn’t have to be something substantial and serious it can just be a way to liven things up
Being unpredictable doesn’t necessarily have to be a way of getting one over on someone. It could also be a way to create a more positive experience that works to benefit others as well as yourself. In many workplaces, people will bring in food to share with others for a birthday or other special occasion.
Be the one who brings a treat to share on an ordinary Wednesday. It’s a small act that people appreciate. Never underestimate random acts of kindness. Doing something thoughtful or giving someone an unexpected compliment, for no reason, with no hidden motives, is a great way to strengthen relationships and earn respect simply for caring about someone else.
How Can I Be Unpredictable Without Overdoing It?
If you act all the time unpredictably, that itself becomes predictable. You get a reputation for being “that crazy girl/guy” and “the life of the party.” People become used to your antics, and while it may be fun at first, eventually they’re going to get bored and react with less surprise. It will become more “There he/she goes again, doing something crazy” rather than “I can’t believe he/she did that!”
If you want to be truly unpredictable, don’t fall into the trap of being predictably unpredictable. The idea is always to keep people guessing. It is fine for you and your significant other to spend a night binge-watching your favorite show in your pajamas with a bowl of popcorn. Then one night, at random, get some fun toys and other equipment for some kinky fun sex.
You don’t always have to be the one disrupting the status quo, but once in a while, take on a challenge, offer a new idea, play it cool, then pull the rug out from under them one day. Another way to be unpredictable is to let others be unpredictable. You don’t have to be the one always in the spotlight, give others the chance to stand out while you take a step back and go with what they do.
Being unpredictable doesn’t mean you never let your true colors show. You never want to make people feel like you’re artificial. You also don’t want to seem unreliable because you seem to switch personalities at the drop of a hat. This behavior isn’t going to attract people to you. If you are completely inconsistent, others are going to be turned off and not trust you. It’s all about moderation.
What Should I Do if My Attempt At Being Unpredictable Back Fires?
Being unpredictable is not without its risks. Even though everyday life is full of predictable things, people themselves are not always predictable, nor can we always know how a situation is going to play out.
Your partner may react with complete aversion when it comes to spicing up your sex life by trying something outside of what they’re comfortable and use to doing. Your friends may be all onboard for doing something different, and then something happens, and plans get canceled. Likewise, when you take on a challenging project, you do run the risk of finding yourself way in over your head.
If something doesn’t work out, don’t get angry and don’t take it as a sign that you should never attempt something unpredictable again. Learn from your mistakes. You may need to come up with yet another unique tactic, retreat, or, if necessary, come clean and admit that you screwed up.
Yet, admitting you were wrong and apologizing instead of making excuses or becoming defensive as other people do, can itself be something unexpected, and help you earn the respect of others. Sometimes when you are attempting to surprise others, you can surprise yourself as well. Don’t ever assume that being unpredictable gives you some immunity to unexpected turns in your life.
How Would You Sum Up the Advantages of Unpredictability?
Being able to be unpredictable means you have to up your risk tolerance. Some things are not going to work out, but some things are, and you have to be comfortable with that uncertainty if you genuinely want to be unpredictable. Yet, the benefits and potential for positive results are well worth the risks.
The human mind craves novelty, but most people don’t have the mental fortitude to go against the norm. Therefore, those individuals who do have the confidence and strength of mind to be unpredictable give themselves the upper hand.
In personal relationships, these individuals are viewed as interesting partners and friends and are found worthy of admiration. In professional relationships, they are considered shrewd business people. They are also considered assets to a team because of their willingness to take risks and come up with innovative ideas. They are good at getting people to take notice.
Unpredictable, people may see problems and come up with solutions to those problems others wouldn’t think of trying. They can be kind, thoughtful, funny, and draw people to them because they make it clear that they have something to offer that no one else does.
Conclusion
To be unpredictable, you need to take the lead and keep the ball in your court. You need to be the one to come up with new ideas and new ways of doing things. You have to take the initiative and lead others to new experiences. To get others out of their comfort zone, you need to get yourself out of yours. Keep an open mind and do things that you wouldn’t normally consider.
If you want to be unpredictable, surprise others by doing something that’s challenging. Never show what you feel or think. Always hold something back that you can pull out unexpectedly and use it to throw people off track. However, don’t always follow the same pattern. When you do the unexpected too often, it becomes your norm, and people come to expect it from you.
Whether you act in unpredictable ways intentionally or not, understand there will be outside forces that are going to cause disruptions in your life. These forces are out of our control, but how we react to them is within our control if you want to remain empowered in unexpected situations you need to combat your own mental patterns and change them, so you don’t end up getting caught in them.
Finally, if you want to be unpredictable, look for opportunities to perform random acts of kindness. Also, look for ways to play and be spontaneous. As adults, we don’t place enough value in our own play, yet play is a great way to build positive personal relationships. It’s also a way of getting you to come up with creative ideas and build a reputation as someone who others value.