We all have the desire to be recognized and maybe even applauded for our actions. What we may not know is how to be noticed. Certain situations tend to increase our drive for recognition. For instance, you may wish to be seen by:
- A teacher
- Your boss
- Followers on social media
- Someone you are romantically interested in
You could also want to improve your visibility if you’re looking for a new job, are a fledgling author or artist, or if you’re a bit shy. Let’s examine our intrinsic need to be noticed and see how it can be done successfully.
Why Do We Want to Be Noticed
Why is it we feel the need to be noticed, to begin with? When people, especially people we admire, do not notice us, then our sense of identity is threatened. When an acknowledgment is given, through gestures such as eye contact, a smile, or a head nod, then we feel a connection, the first step of bonding.
This sequence towards bonding begins with recognition, followed by approval. In this phase, we have been found to be acceptable and may be invited to become involved with closer contact through conversation or physical proximity. As our approval rating rises, so does our respect, esteem, and perceived status.
Conversely, people who withhold acknowledgment often do so out of a sense of superiority. The message being sent is that you are beneath their notice. You can do without people who have that attitude.
How Does Being Noticed Benefit Us
We’ve seen how being acknowledged benefits us emotionally. Additionally, being noticed can improve our chances at a better grade in school, a promotion at work, or finding the love of our lives. Being seen adds meaning to our lives and purpose to our actions.
When we have a purpose, we have higher life satisfaction, are more attentive in our actions at work and at home, and are generally happier when compared with those who don’t. This disengagement increases the likelihood of criminal behavior, depression, and alcohol or substance abuse.
With the increased popularity of social media, our natural desire for attention can become a negative force, even going so far as to become an addiction, ever in the quest of more followers or likes. The addictive use of social media harms self-esteem and life satisfaction. Comparing ourselves to others who have a more picture-perfect profile makes us unhappy.
However, social media users who have healthy self-esteem going in, not only are protected against the addictive nature but can maintain a level of self-esteem independent of inadvertent comparisons.
Going Unnoticed
There are also occasions when we would prefer to go unnoticed. For example, when we make a social faux pas or when we aren’t feeling our best. When these situations occur, we’ve all had the desire for the floor to open up and swallow us.
Although disappearing is a skill beyond most of us, there may be occasions when going unnoticed is better. For instance, if you are the event coordinator for your best friend’s wedding, you naturally want the spotlight to be on the happy event, not you as you fiddle with the beautiful flower arrangements. In this situation, letting your work speak for itself, and maintaining a professional distance would be appropriate.
Excessive attention-seeking behavior is a sign of a dysfunctional sense of self. Narcissistic personality disorder occurs when someone has an inflated sense of self and finds opportunities to be noticed constantly. Another condition called Munchausen syndrome is when a person fakes having an illness for subsequent attention.
How to Be Noticed by Your Teacher
Whether you are in high school or working toward your professorship at the university, there are times that you want to be noticed by your teacher. Teachers may have particular qualities that look for in students, but most have the same general standards.
Begin by participating in class discussions. Don’t be fearful to ask questions or challenge ideas respectfully. You can best do this by being prepared for class. Perhaps it might entail a little extra research on your part—however, the quality of your comments is reflective of that extra effort.
Demonstrate that the material is essential to you by arriving to class on time. Turn in assignments promptly as well. During the lesson, give your undivided attention to what is being presented. Paying attention means you’ll need to turn off your phone and avoid being distracted by your classmates.
If you are having a hard time with an assignment or concept, approach the teacher after class and ask if there is a time that he or she could go over the material with you. Be courteous in your speech and actions towards your professor.
Yet another way to get noticed by the teacher is to ask for a letter of recommendation. The act of writing a recommendation letter will force the teacher to pay extra attention to your efforts in class so that he or she can write an honest and thorough missive.
How to Be Noticed by Your Boss
Getting noticed by your boss is a similar process to attracting the attention of your teacher. Completing work assignments promptly, showing up to work on time, and a pleasant workplace demeanor are excellent ways to start.
Actively participate during staff meetings. Also, look for ways to demonstrate your commitment to the company’s mission statement. Ask for special assignments that will help you develop the skills the company needs.
Interpersonal and communication abilities are highly valued in employees. Take classes or read books to improve yours. Become an expert at what you do while being willing to train others. Connect with others in different departments and learn about the big picture rather than hiding away in your cubicle.
Take responsibility for your actions, including your failures. If you show a sincere desire to improve the situation, it will go a long way in making an impression on your boss.
How to Be Noticed by Potential Employers
There are a few things you can do to get the attention of potential employers when job hunting.
Update Your Resume
Your resume is the very first contact potential employers will have with you. Therefore, it is in your best interest to make sure your CV is in tip-top shape. Start by making sure that it is readable. Check for formatting issues, legible font, and spelling errors.
Add your LinkedIn profile information. If you plan to email your resume to a potential employer, make sure your LinkedIn URL is in your signature too. Your profile should be up to date with your latest accomplishments, work history, and current projects.
While making these updates, make sure any other links you include on your resume are clickable, since these days, most potential employers are viewing the PDF version of your resume.
Make sure your experience is listed before your education. Detail your relevant skills as well. You may have several versions of your resume, each tailored to the type of job you are applying for. You can do this by adding a qualifications section at the very beginning of your resume so that your most relevant skills and experiences are highlighted.
Put Yourself Out There
If you want to get noticed, you’ll have to put yourself out there. When it comes to future employment, this means finding a way to interact with the people that work where you want to work. Start by attending local Meetups or workshops sponsored by the company.
You’ll need to put yourself out there online as well. Look for forums and industry groups that you can join and participate in. Make sure your comments are professional and on topic. Keep in mind your profile and user names for these sites should also be extremely dignified.
Stand Out During the Interview
Sometimes hundreds of candidates are interviewed for just a handful of positions. To be noticed, you’ll need to stand out during the interviewing process. Start by researching the company and position openings. Then identify the skills, experiences, and personal characteristics that you possess that meet the needs of both.
Your appearance is also critical. Dress for the job you want, not the one you have now. Check out the company’s profile online. Are the employees formally dressed, or is there some leeway for more casual clothing? Check for stains or wrinkles on your outfit. Don’t neglect the condition of your shoes, either.
Bring a clean copy of your resume, kept safely in a folder, along with your work portfolio. Arrive early to your appointment and be pleasant and courteous to everyone you meet in the office. Turn off your cell phone.
Answer the questions the interview poses as completely as possible. Maintain regular eye contact and try not to fidget. After the meeting, send a polite thank-you note even if you were not offered the position. Perhaps an opening will appear later, and the impression you made will land you the job.
How to Be Noticed if You are an Author
Unless your name happens to be Stephen King, your next book might not get the hype you hope it does, even if it is phenomenal work. Because we live in the digital age, one of the first steps to getting noticed as a fledgling author is to create a social media presence.
You should at least have an author website and be active on two of the top four social media platforms. The top platform for 2020 continues to be Facebook, with more than 2.5 million monthly users. Instagram is the second-highest performer with higher interactions of videos rather than photographs.
Twitter has dropped to third place but is still active, with more than 330 million users worldwide. Coming in fourth, but still not with shabby statistics, is Pinterest with 300 million global monthly active users.
Other online ways for an author to garner attention is to write guest blog posts, be available for podcast interviews, and interact with other authors. On the local front, you can donate your books to the library or have book signings at the bookstore to establish a fan base in your community.
How to Be Noticed on Social Media
If you are searching for a job, you should know that most recruiters will check you out on social media before scheduling an interview. As an author, being noticed on social media can pave the way for a bestseller.
If you have a business that has an online presence, you certainly want to get noticed on social media, maybe even create something that goes viral. To do so, you’ll need to create better content than your competitors.
Use quality images to get the readers’ attention. Make your posts easy to find by using hashtags. Funny and inspirational posts get more shares than the ho-hum type of article. For businesses, statistical and data-filled posts are more in demand.
Start a conversation. Comments mean you’ve struck a chord with someone. Respond promptly and courteously. Controversy always draws a crowd, so don’t despair if someone doesn’t agree with you. If you have a point of view that is unique, don’t be afraid to share it.
As mentioned previously, the top four social media sites are where you want to concentrate. The type of material you share and each platform’s algorithms are different. So let’s take a minute to see how to be noticed on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, and Pinterest.
How to Be Noticed on Facebook
These days, it’s harder and harder to be noticed on Facebook through organic traffic. Facebook has designed it so that the most visible posts are paid publicity.
That being said, you can improve your reach on Facebook by being active in discussions, not just on your page, but in all the groups you have joined. Posts with more engagements pop up in feeds more often because Facebook has determined something interesting is going on.
How to Be Noticed on Instagram
Instagram, although owned by Facebook, focuses on the visual. If you post to Instagram Stories, your picture or short video will appear at the top of your followers’ feeds, making it that much easier to get noticed.
Of course, since Instagram is so visually oriented, make sure your pictures are ooh and ahh worthy. Take a photography course or two in addition to learning about editing apps. They say a picture is worth a thousand words, after all!
How to Be Noticed on Twitter
Twitter is a rapid-fire platform. The key to success here is to post consistently, several times a day. Make sure to include hashtags that make your posts searchable among oodles of tweets.
Keeping up to date on what’s trending and adding your two cents (with hashtags) is another way to get your post in front of followers. Be generous with your retweets, comments, and love when it comes to others, and they may reciprocate.
How to Be Noticed on Pinterest
Pinterest is yet another predominantly visual platform. Users hoard images by “pinning” them on different “boards.” An optimal image size is important on Pinterest. Most images are 564 x 846 pixels, a rather large rectangle. Make sure your pictures are adequately sized.
Include “pinnable” images in your blog posts as well then pin them to your own labeled boards. So if you wrote an article on the medicinal use of lavender in Brazil, make sure there is an image of lavender that is at least 564 x 846 pixels in that post.
How to Be Noticed by Social Influencers
There are certain occasions when you may wish to be explicitly noticed by the social influencers in your niche, not just the general public. Start by sharing the influencer’s content on your social media. The influencer will see your shares pop up in their tracking reports and perhaps stop by to check your site out.
Follow up by commenting on their blog posts and linking to their articles. Be sure to have a consistent Gravatar profile so that when you appear on other platforms, you’ll be recognized. People love to share posts about them, so consider writing an article about your favorite social influencer and watch it get likes.
Yet another way to get noticed is to create shareable images that directly quote the person you are hoping to be seen by. You can find quotable material in interviews or blog posts. Then share the heck out of that image, making sure your lowly URL is there in the corner of the image so you too can be found.
How to Be Noticed by Someone You are Interested in
Perhaps you’d like to be noticed not for academic or professional reasons, but romantic ones. There are several fail proof ways to get someone to see you. Whether it blossoms into love, well, that part is up to you.
Smile
First, smile. We are naturally drawn to happy people. A smile tells the other person that you are content and approachable. Smiling can also make you appear younger, thinner, and more attractive to others.
When another person is being smiled at, it’s common for them to mimic the facial expression, elevating their mood. You’ll get the credit for that shift in attitude. The object of your interest just may get enough of a boost to want to continue interacting with you.
Make Eye Contact
After you’ve flashed a smile, try some sustained eye contact. Humans tend to remember those who have made eye-contact better than those just seen in passing. You shouldn’t make it into a staring contact, however. Studies show that eye-contact of about three seconds should do the trick.
There is a correlation with oxytocin, the feel-good hormone produced by the body, and eye contact. Since eye contact sparks a flood of oxytocin, which makes us feel good, we seek it out more for that naturally good high. Break off eye contact with a wink, and your next romantic engagement might just be in the bag.
Dress Confidently
You don’t have to wear the latest clothing trends to catch someone’s eye. Studies have shown that women who wear red are found to be more attractive to men than those who do not on dating websites. Red-bias preference is also true for women. Men who posed in front of a red background were perceived as more desirable to women.
What we wear also affects how we act, down to our undergarments. Sexy underwear and fun socks can make us feel more confident. Confidence attracts attention, which is what we had in mind all along.
Be Courteous
Courtesy and good manners go a long way to help you get noticed these days when everyone is so focused on themselves. A man or woman who chews with his or her mouth open will score lower on the romantic interest scale than someone who doesn’t, no matter how physically attractive.
Good manners can include opening the door for a lady as well as the gratitude expressed by the women with a nod or thank you comment. Brief interactions like this do not go unnoticed. Courteous communication is considered more attractive than an aggressive speech by both genders.
How to Be Noticed at a Party
Sometimes our innate need to be noticed can be satisfied by the attention received at a party or get-together. Pranks and crazy behavior will undoubtedly cause people to take note, but that might not be the impression you want to leave behind.
Your hygiene is of paramount importance. You might even want to try a new hairstyle or get a haircut before the anticipated event. Changes like that are noticed quite frequently. Bringing a little gift for the hostess or host will earn you attention-getting brownie points. Make sure the present is appropriate and tasteful, though.
Your entrance doesn’t have to be splashy, but it should be confident. The clothing you choose to wear matters too. Remember what we said about the color red being eye-catching. After you arrive, spend some time greeting those that you know in attendance and mingling. Make it a point of pride to greet attendees personally by using their names. It shows you are genuine in your interactions.
How to Be Noticed if You are Shy
It might be harder to get noticed if you are timid. It’s that much more challenging to put yourself in the spotlight. You may need to work on your confidence first before approaching someone.
You’ll be more noticed if you are relaxed and enjoying yourself. So consider the situation you put yourself in. For example, if you are engaged in an activity or hobby that you enjoy, your self-consciousness won’t be evident because you are focused on something other than yourself. Aim to create situations like this, and you’ll have more chances of being noticed even if you are incredibly timid.
People like to be complimented. It builds their self-esteem, and as a result, they have more positive feelings toward you. Even if you are shy, you can make a quick comment that flatters. Make sure you are sincere, however. If that green shirt doesn’t bring out the color of their brown eyes, then saying so won’t earn you any bonus points.
When is Enough, Enough
So you’ve made the initial contact, either online or in person. You’ve followed up with emails or phone calls. And yet, what if the object of your desire, whether in a romantic or professional capacity, is still not showing much interest? When is it time for you to throw in the towel and just accept that you aren’t being acknowledged as you have hoped?
A restraining order would be a good sign that you need to step back and reevaluate your insistence. This legal document prohibits you from contacting the person either through phone calls, email, or personal contact. Although things may not get as far as that, being blocked on social media is quite similar.
Sometimes when your efforts to get noticed are not successful, it is because the other person is sincerely not interested. If it is a person that you interact with in person, look for body language clues that let you know of his or her disinterest.
Are their arms crossed in front of their body? Is their smile forced and not genuine? Do they avoid making eye-contact? If so, perhaps you should focus your attention elsewhere.
Conclusion
We all need to be noticed. In this article, we discussed a variety of ways how to be noticed, whether in a personal or professional setting. Even if you are shy, there are things you can do to set yourself apart from the crowd.
Remember, the key is to be balanced in your efforts to be noticed. Stalking is illegal, whether you are following your love interest home every night or following them on very closely social media, known as cyberstalking.
You do not need the approval of every person you admire or are interested in to be happy and prosperous. You are more than your job position, more than the number of friends you have, and certainly more than the number of followers or fans that you interact with on social media.