Have you ever wondered how to be normal? For years, I dreamt of fitting in with people that society deemed normal. To be the type of person who didn’t stand out in a crowd. That didn’t attract attention from everyone because I was different. But some people aren’t meant to blend in. They’re meant to shine bright in the crowd. But there are times when you’ll need to know how to be normal.
What is Normal?
One of the main problems with someone wanting to learn how to be normal is that this is a subjective goal. What’s normal for one person isn’t necessarily the same for other people, especially among different cultures. There is no universal definition for being “normal.”
For most people, when they think of being normal, they are aiming to fit in with the crowd. They want to be seen as the same as everyone else. Unfortunately, this often means that people change their unique qualities to blend in.
When you start hiding your true self so other people will like you, you’re giving up your identity. You become one of the masses, another blank face in the crowd. You don’t stand out. You might fit in so well that no one even notices you at all.
Stop trying to be normal enough to fit in with the crowd. Learn how to embrace your differences while displaying them in a way that allows you to join the group, or maybe even lead. There are ways to keep your unique personality while still being able to fit in. Here are some suggestions on how to be normal without losing your identity.
How to Be Normal
When you learn how to be normal, it means that you have figured out how to behave in a manner that is expected of you. You know how to adapt to different situations. And you can transition from one group of people to another without awkwardness. Being normal means knowing how to manage yourself in social cases. You can pass as normal, even when you have qualities that make you stand out among the crowd.
When you try to be normal the wrong way, you give up your own identity. You become someone the world wants you to be. While this may get you the attention you’re craving, it can come at a cost – because you can suddenly become a stranger to yourself.
Some things you might change when you try to force yourself to be normal, that can alter your entire personality are:
- Keeping your opinions to yourself
- Changing how you laugh
- Pretending to like things you don’t
- Altering your appearance
- Talking differently
- Engaging in dangerous or risky behaviors
Tips for Being Normal While Being You
The good news is that you can learn how to act normal while still keeping the qualities that make you a unique individual. The trick is to have enough confidence in your differences so that people don’t see you as a threat. People often react unpredictably when confronted with differences that challenge their current beliefs.
Part of being normal is showing consideration for the perception of others. Everyone has their own ideas and comfort zones. It also means knowing how to adjust the version of yourself you present, based on the situation you’re in. Not everyone should see you in all your fantastic glory.
Learning how to moderate your behaviors to conform to expectations allows you to retain your individuality while still fitting in. You’ll have the best of all worlds. You can still feel at peace mentally because you’re not living a lie. Yet you’re not sticking out like a sore thumb and being considered weird or odd. If this sounds like the kind of life you want to live, try using these tips to help you learn how to be normal.
Have Confidence
One of the best tips I can give you when you’re learning how to be normal is to have confidence in yourself. Even if you’re completely weird, you don’t mind the world knowing it. For a long time, I hid my true self from the world. I knew I had oddball quirks that people would judge me for, such as snorting when I laugh too hard or rambling when I’m uncomfortable.
I learned to hide my true self so well that I became a social genius. I became the life of the party. I always had plans with someone, even when I didn’t want to do anything but sit at home. But what I didn’t have were friends. All of these people were surrounding me, but they were just acquaintances.
They only accepted me because I forced myself to fit in, even though it made me unhappy. When I hit rock bottom, these people scattered like the wind. They didn’t want to be there when I needed help, only when I was making them happy. It hurt for a while, but it helped me figure out that I didn’t want to surround myself with these kinds of people anymore.
If I was going to start my life over, I was going to do it right. So I became myself, weirdness and all. I still snort when I laugh. When it happens, I just roll my eyes and make a joke out of it. “My bad. I watched too many episodes of Urkel when I was a kid.” When I ramble, I apologize. “Gah. I’m always talking too much when I’m stressed. Stop me!”
How Does Confidence Help You Be Normal?
When you’re confident about yourself, your quirks won’t stick out. When you’re self-conscious, you might draw unwanted attention to your behavior. You might be making a bigger deal out of something than is warranted, which causes the action to stick out.
Something you might not realize is that stress can make you act more awkward than you usually would. When you’re comfortable with who you are, you find it easier to be in the moment. You don’t worry about how you appear to others. It gives you the freedom to be accepted for the real you while looking normal.
Be a Better Communicator
If you want to be normal, you have to learn how to communicate effectively. Communicating isn’t just about the words you speak. You also have to know how to listen. Most of the time, when we’re talking with someone, we turn our thoughts inwards, preparing our responses. Or if we’re in the middle of a topic that doesn’t hold our interest, we can zone out, appearing to listen without hearing a word spoken.
Our body language can also give away our thoughts, if not properly managed. If you have your arms crossed or you roll your eyes, you’re telling your audience that you don’t care about what they’re saying. If you’re staring at your phone while you’re supposed to be having a conversation, you’re dismissing your companion as unimportant.
Another part of being an excellent communicator is knowing how to interact in different social situations. You know how to fit in, whether you have to present your professional persona to impress your bosses at a work function, or you’re showing your party side for a night out with your friends.
How to Be a Better Communicator
If you want to appear normal, it’s crucial to work on your communicating skills. Learn how to listen more than you talk. Pay attention to what is being said. Take your cue on how to act by the tone of the conversation. Don’t throw out slang and make jokes if you’re talking to someone who’s serious and formal.
You don’t have to be a people person to know how to appear to be one. Fake it to til you make it is one of the phrases I’ve ever heard. Remember that practice makes perfect. The more you interact with people, the more comfortable you will feel in different situations. If you’re not a talker, no worries. Most people are happy to do all the talking if they feel that their companion is listening.
Be Healthy
There are so many people out there that think that part of being normal is having the perfect appearance. This leads to crazy dieting, unhealthy eating habits, and grueling hours of the newest workout fad. The issue is that some people are trying to challenge biology.
We’re all built differently. And most of us are never satisfied with our looks. Lord knows I could name a million things I hate about myself. But if you let your looks determine your happiness, you’ll have a hard time finding peace.
Instead of trying to change how you look so you can fit an unrealistic idea of how normal is supposed to look, learn how to be healthy instead. Being healthy means learning how to eat right, getting enough exercise, and getting enough sleep. It also means that you give up bad habits that are unhealthy, such as smoking, drinking, or maybe even eating too much salt. Mind your cholesterol, people. Once you hit 30, your body goes haywire. Better to keep it under control early.
How Does Being Healthy Make You Normal?
When you’re healthy, you feel better. Not just physically but mentally. Mental health is an essential part of your self-care that you should not neglect. When you feel good, you’re more likely to engage in socialization with others. You have the energy to want to do things. Maybe even fun things you’ve always wanted to try but were too scared to attempt.
Being healthy allows you to live a normal life. Take it from someone who has a chronic disease that alters my very life. There’s a lot of stuff I can’t do just because of my illness. It can be hard to fit in when you can’t do the same things as other people. Being healthy lets you do more normal things with your life.
Observe Those Around You
When you’re trying to act normal, it helps to pay attention to the people around you. This is especially useful in situations you’re not familiar with. Watching the way other people are behaving can help you tweak your behavior so that you don’t stick out.
If you’re interacting with members of a different culture, it can be easy to accidentally offend someone if you don’t know their customs. But with practice, you can learn to read cues that can help you act appropriately.
You’ll know how to speak correctly. It’s best not to attempt speaking in a foreign language you looked up online. Often, these translations aren’t correct and can offend someone more than saying you can’t understand them. Some situations may require a degree of formality. Follow the lead of others.
Mirror Others
Mimicking others is one of the easiest ways to blend in with the crowd. No one is going to pay much attention to a person who is doing the same thing. But they will notice the one who isn’t behaving as expected. Think of the dirty looks you get when you speak too loud in a library. Now, you see my point.
Listen to the way people speak with each other before you engage. You might take offense at someone picking on you without realizing that it’s just the usual way they behave. If you watch long enough, you might notice that there’s a lot of good-natured ribbing and teasing, but it’s all in good fun. If you make a big deal of it, you could be labeled as a weirdo.
Try New Things
When you’re trying to be normal, you might want to do the same things as everyone else. But this can lead you to end up claiming to enjoy activities you aren’t interested in. Ask any woman who’s claimed to love Call of Duty when they first got their boyfriends. Doing something you don’t enjoy can make you miserable.
It’s healthy to try new things. How boring would life be if you did the same thing over and over, without ever experiencing anything else? Sometimes, it’s good to push your limits and try things that scare you. The best way to overcome your fear is to face it.
Be open to new experiences, even if it frightens you. Things usually aren’t as scary as they seem. I’m terrified of heights. I get nervous, climbing a flight of stairs. But lately, I’ve been pushing myself to overcome the debilitating overreaction. I’ve even started considering riding a roller coaster with my kids this summer. Terrifying!
Find Things You Enjoy
If you’ve tried something and it’s not your cup of tea, don’t feel obligated to do it again just to fit in. Most people will understand your predicament and won’t hold it against you. If they do, then you don’t need those kinds of people in your life.
While you should be open to trying new things, what you shouldn’t do is try things that go against your personal values. Never bend your beliefs to meet the expectations of others. Instead, find things to try that interest you. Even if it means finding new people to try these things with. It never hurts to broaden your personal horizons and meet new people.
Seek Friends with Common Interests
There is a low probability that you have one friend with whom you share all the same interests. Sure, you might like some of the same things, but there will be stuff that you each like individually. I love to fish and go to the river. My best friend refuses to get anywhere near water unless it’s a pool.
While it’s great to have personal time alone, you also need human interaction. And let’s face it. Some activities are just more fun with another person; or a group of people. It would be kind of hard to play volleyball alone.
Part of being normal is having a healthy balance of friends. This doesn’t mean you have to go out and meet and befriend twenty new people. But it’s better to have at least three. You need different types of friends to fulfill various areas of your life. My other best friend loves to fish, so we get together on Sundays. My non-fishing friend and I will catch a movie or have dinner and shop instead.
Find Friends That Become a Support System
One of the hardest things to find these days is a loyal friend. It seems like more people are interested in using others for what they can do for them. Life can be stressful, and you’ll need people in your corner to keep your head up when things get tough.
Don’t just find friends that enjoy doing the same stuff as you. Look for people who have positive qualities. Compassion, loyalty, honesty, respect. See how they treat their other friends. You want to surround yourself with people who you can count on in the bad times as well as the good. Someone who will help you celebrate or grieve. Not someone who shies away every time you need to talk about a problem. Not all friends are real.
Engage With Others
If you want to appear normal, you have to learn how to interact with people. If you’re sitting awkwardly quietly in a room full of people, everyone might start wondering if there’s something wrong with you. You could end up making yourself a social piranha that gets alienated from everyone and deemed the party pooper.
You don’t have to be a chatty Cathy to appear normal. Even if you only talk to one person the whole time, you still appear social. Having someone around who never speaks or engages in any of the group activities can make some people uncomfortable. You have to admit it would look weird to have someone just sitting there doing nothing but staring at everyone.
Ordinary people want to have fun. Don’t be afraid to jump in and play a game that might make you look pretty foolish, such as Pie in your Face or Slap Mouth. You have to know how to laugh at yourself. Be okay with being goofy if it lets you have fun.
Have Fun Without Caring
If you want to have the most amount of fun possible, learn how to let loose. Be willing to do something that might be embarrassing but fun, like skinny dipping at a friend’s house or playing truth or dare. Play a drinking game where you have to admit secrets along with the rest of your friends.
When you don’t care what other people are thinking about you, you’re giving yourself the chance to really have a good time. It’s easier to have fun when you’re not stressed or having negative thoughts. If you’re all doing the same thing, you’re all looking silly together, so no one is going to care. But if you decide not to engage with the group, it can make you stand out and appear not normal.
Be in Control of Your Emotions
There’s nothing we all like more than a nice juicy piece of drama unfolding right before our eyes. It excites us. We watch in anticipation of what’s to come. Sides are taken. She’s right because he was a pig. He’s right because she’s misunderstanding the situation. We talk about it afterward, throwing our own opinion into the pot.
When you become a source of drama, people can often start seeing you differently. Maybe they think you’re the bad guy, and you get shunned or attacked. Others might feel pity or sympathy for your situation. They talk at you, offering lines of fake sincerity. But behind your back, you’re being called weird or crazy. Even if you were justified, as we can often be.
If you want to be normal, you have to act like it. And that means that you don’t lose your cool. You won’t overreact to bad situations. You address it calmly and appropriately, with your emotions firmly in check. You know there’s the right place and time for you to express yourself appropriately, but it’s not in the middle of a crowded room.
Be Mindful of Your Surroundings
A normal person doesn’t lose their stuff in front of everyone. If they get bad news, they hold it together and get privacy before they react. Ordinary people don’t want attention to be on them, especially when they’re going through a difficult time. Some things are just meant to be private.
If you want to be seen as normal, pay attention to how you’re acting when you’re around other people. Learn to keep your emotions under control so that you’re not overreacting in inappropriate places. It can be hard to live down a significant meltdown. Especially if it’s caught on camera, which is just about everything these days.
Be Conscious of Your Appearance
If you want people to think you’re normal, you will have to look the part. It’s becoming more common these days to see people in various types of styles. Some people don’t even follow fashion trends. They just make up their own.
Even seeing someone with bold neon-colored hair, tattoos and piercings don’t seem as unusual as it once used to be. The stigma around what is and isn’t acceptable in regards to appearances is ever-changing. Despite the fact that the majority of the population has one or more body modifications, even if it’s just pierced ears or highlights, some people still disapprove of the behavior.
I’ve had plenty of people question my parenting skills simply because I have tattoos. People are going to judge, no matter what you do. But if you want to be considered normal, you will want to do your best not to stand out in any way with your appearance.
Keep It Basic
If you’re unsure about what would be appropriate to wear when you’re going into a new situation, always remember to keep it basic. Black can rarely go wrong. It comes off as a bit more formal than bright colors, which might not appeal to all audiences. Avoid showing too much skin, especially if you’re a female. Don’t wear tops that show your stomach or breasts. Or bottoms that are too low cut or too short.
Try not to have wild hair colors, which can make you stand out. The same goes for crazy hairstyles. With your jewelry and makeup, keep it subtle. Heavy eyeliner, black fingernails, dog collars, and chains tend to frighten most people.
Find Your Version of Normal
In life, there are times when you will have to act in a way that society deems as usual. To do this, you would have to behave as expected in a situation, without standing out. There would be nothing about you that others would find lacking or out of place. You would be able to blend in with people, no matter the circumstances. But more than that, you would still maintain your identity and uniqueness. We’ve shown you how to be normal. Start your journey to normalcy prepared.