Good luck seems to follow those who are kinder to people. When you make an extra effort to provide acts of kindness and compassion to others, you will receive similar energy in the future. The process of being a nice person is one that takes little effort, but the benefits are far beyond what we could imagine. It all starts with your ability to see the world as others see it and acting in the best interest of others.
In this article, we examine the different mindsets, strategies, and qualities that you must pursue to be more pleasing. If you are reading this and trying to become nicer, tackle one thing at a time. It does not just happen overnight, but it is a journey that you must be patient with. As you implement these different tactics, document your progress, and monitor how you are progressing.
When you become nicer, people will genuinely look forward to seeing you. This bond will strengthen your current relationships and create new, valuable partnerships for you in the future. Your mental health will improve and being kind will slowly start to become a habit and second nature for you.
Smile and Laugh
The first step in being kind is to smile and laugh more. By focusing on positive facial expressions, it will make you a better person to be around. Your positivity will be contagious and rub off on others. We tend to subconsciously mirror people so that a genuine smile can go a long way. This positive body language is a valuable tool to implement not only when you are talking, but when you are listening to people.
When you smile as you talk, it shows that you are passionate about what you say. This expression gives you a sense of ingenuity about you, and people will respect that. Your real face will carry your words extra weight and importance, which will make people want to be around you. A great way to build rapport with someone is to be the first person to laugh, smile, or tell a joke within the conversation.
Your ability to actively listen to someone is dependent on what your face is saying. By smiling and nodding while someone is telling you something, you are encouraging the other person to keep going. Others will feel valued if you show interest and smile while they are talking about their passions. You increase your ability to influence others by smiling and laughing in each interaction.
Be Genuinely Interested in Others
Whenever someone is telling you a story, you should be far more interested in hearing it than he or she is saying it. Your genuine interest in others and their goals is one of the single most important ways to gain friendship. Talk about what others treasure the most and focus the conversation on the interests of others. The more people talk about what they love, the more they will want to be around you.
Great conversations are born from quality questions. You should aim to ask people things that make them evaluate new information and dig deep into their passions. A great place to start is asking about someone’s family, which is usually a big part of their motivations. You can also inquire about their job or how they make their living, which could lead to a more in-depth discussion about their aspirations.
Lastly, do not be afraid to breach into abstract or extracurricular topics. You can dig into what their hobbies are, or what they enjoy spending time doing. These are all great topics to breach when you are trying to build rapport with someone and be a more excellent person.
Do Not Be Critical of Others
We, as humans, are certainly not perfect, so we should understand this when we are tempted to criticize someone. Divert your intentions from being less judgmental and more encouraging. You should see people in terms of what they are becoming, not as what they are currently. Work on instilling confidence in others so that they believe in themselves more and reinforce positive thoughts into the mind.
Being less critical stems from looking at the brighter side of the issue. Instead of focusing on complaining and dwelling on the negative parts of the current situation, create a plan on how you can improve the environment going forward. You become what you think about, so if you shift from criticism to actional improvements, you will improve yourself, the people around you, and come off as a kinder human being.
Be Punctual
One of the more essential aspects of being kind is respecting someone’s time. Although you may not intend to be late, you are offending the other person by wasting their time. We all have 24 hours in a single day, so you want to make each one of them count. If someone tells you that they want to be with you at a particular time window, you should do everything in your power to be present and on time.
When you work on being more punctual, it teaches you lessons about discipline and responsibility. When you arrive on time, it also makes people trust you more. By arriving early or on time, it shows that you follow through on what you say, which can be great for your relationships going forward. It is considerate and nice to make sure that someone else is maximizing their time and that you are providing value.
To avoid being late, you should be mindful of your scheduling and planning. Try not to schedule events in back to back time blocks. You should create environmental conditions to ensure that you can be where you say you are going to be. When you are about to meet someone, allow for extra travel time or events that may stall you on the way.
Don’t Gossip or Talk Down About Others
Another way for you to be a nicer person is to avoid talking down or gossiping about other people. You may have a positive or negative opinion about someone else, but it is proper for you to speak openly about them respectfully. It sends a wrong message to others when you talk down about anybody absent. Those people who are with you will wonder what you say about them when they are not around.
To flip the script, you should work on your ability to encourage and talk highly of others. By paying compliments and speaking in a positive light, you will make others look better and create a happier tone for the conversation. You can also implement the strategy of “3rd party compliments” by telling someone directly that you paid them a compliment to someone else.
Avoiding gossip and paying indirect compliments shows how nice of a person you are because you remember the valuable qualities about others. You should take full advantage of this opportunity whenever anybody’s name comes up in conversation.
Give Sincere Compliments
If you have mastered the ability to avoid gossip and pay indirect compliments, you should now work on verbally praising others directly. Whenever you see the right opportunity, give out sincere and genuine compliments to others. But make sure that it is not a generality and that it focuses on a specific accomplishment.
There are many strategies to give full compliments. Give someone props for a time when they overcame a challenge or pushed through an uncertain time. If you notice that someone is improving at a skill or area of expertise, make it known to them that you see the transformation.
People become what they think about, and if you install confidence in someone, it will improve them. You should talk to someone as if they are always at the top of the game. All friendly people see the potential in others and vocalize it healthily and respectfully. The best way to build rapport in a conversation is to lead with a genuine compliment. This comment will always get the interactions started positively.
Apologize Sincerely
Mistakes are common in the lifelong process and pursuit of success. These missteps are necessary for learning and developing as people. Nice people are also humble and own their failures. They do not sulk or block people off or shift blame to other things. When you have made a mistake that impacts other people, you need to be honest and upfront about your wrongdoing.
When you apologize to someone, you need to summarize what you did, confirm and vocalize the effect that it had, and outline a game plan of how you will not make a mistake again. Ask the other person how you can make it up to them, and that you are genuinely sorry for any pain or inconvenience that you caused. The person will appreciate that you are working to bounce back and amend the issue.
Be Polite: Say “Please” and “Thank You”
One of the most underrated skills in business and life is the habit of being polite. We live in a big world where people are always looking in the past and future, moving 100 miles per hour. The people who take time to acknowledge others, show gratitude, and thank them are sweeter and have a leg up on everyone else. You should make it a habit of saying “please” and “thank you” wherever you go.
By giving thanks to others, you are showing empathy for their hard work. You never know how someone else’s day is going and what gratitude can do for their motivation. When you communicate that you are appreciative, the other person will be happy to do the same thing for you next time. You also increase the chances that the person you thanked will pay it forward to someone else later that week or day.
Gratitude breeds motivation, and hard work. It is also a key component of someone’s kindness. This act of kindness is one that takes little effort but will go a long way in spreading positivity around the world. Whether it is specific gratitude or two simple words, work on different ways to incorporate this to both strangers and close friends or family.
Be Able to Laugh at Yourself
Friendly people not only laugh and smile while they talk and listen, but they are humble enough to joke at themselves too. You should not take yourself too seriously. Mean people are often insecure about themselves and are quick to defend against any type of joke or attack against them. Even when people are poking fun at you, it takes a unique, self-aware person to join and make light of themselves sometimes.
When you laugh at yourself, it also puts other people in the conversation at ease. If you get defensive and lash out at any little joke, it makes people not want to be around you as much. Being upfront about your quirks or funny tendencies is a way for you to be more authentic. When you are right to yourself and appreciate who you are inside and out, it makes you a happier and healthier person overall.
Help Others
Another excellent way for you to be kind is to sacrifice time out of your day to help others. We only have a fixed set of time each day, so time is valuable. By offering your efforts to improve the life of someone else, you communicate to that person that he or she is essential. You should be forthcoming about assisting people. If everyone were quick to do this, the world would be a much better place.
People are usually shy to ask for people, so you will often need to initiate this act of kindness. No matter what people are willing to admit upfront, everybody will always need help at some point. This act of support could be carrying a heavy object for them, working on their resume, or running an errand for them on a busy day. If you can save them time or relieve their stress, this will go an incredibly long way.
By improving the life of someone else, this will motivate that person to pass it on to someone else. The law of reciprocation influences people to return a favor in some way. By being nice and doing a kind deed for another person, you will make them more helpful.
Make Polite Gestures
Helping others through kind deeds is a great way to try for someone else. But something that takes even less energy is the small, polite gestures that you can award someone else. These small cues are another thing that separates the friendly people from the rest. It takes a unique sense of self-awareness to put other people before yourself. It also shows that you see other people as being important.
So, what are the actions you can take to be more polite? A few of them include:
- Standing up and shaking someone else’s hand when you meet them
- Hugging or kissing someone, if it is appropriate
- Waiting for everyone at the table to receive their food before you begin eating
- Opening the door for someone
- Letting someone else walk before you through a tight space at a public place
These are small deeds that are often unspoken, but when you perform them for someone else, they will appreciate you. You will also be seen as a kind, selfless person. As you go throughout your day, look for these prime opportunities. When you journal or write about your day, you can also brainstorm more ways to give polite gestures to improve the lives of others.
Remember Names
One of the most impactful things you can do as a person is to remember someone’s name. In the eyes of most people on earth, their own name is their favorite word to hear. Many human beings perpetuate their names at any cost, and there is no better way to a person’s heart than to remember this critical detail. The meaning behind your words carries extra weight when you attach the name of the person.
There are a variety of ways to recall names, but you should focus on verbal and written repetition. When you meet someone for the first time, work on saying the person’s name out loud three different times throughout the conversation to ingrain it in your mind. You can also take time to write down the names and faces of people in your phone, which is an excellent opportunity to maximize the notes app!
Calling others by their name makes you a nice person because it shows that you took the effort and interest to remember it. The next time you see someone you haven’t seen in a while, call them by their name and watch the sparkle in their eye. People will feel comfortable and happy to be around you for implementing this effective strategy.
Be Honest
Honesty is a crucial component of being a kind human being. The more authentic you are about yourself toward others, the nicer you will be. Do not embellish yourself, which means that you should avoid exaggerating your accomplishments. You should remain humble and reveal both your highs and your lows. By explaining the times when you failed, it makes you more authentic in the eyes of others.
This mindset also extends to the way you interact with others. When someone asks you a question about something, you should be straightforward in the way you answer. Do not inflate your feelings or intentions but be forthright in your response. When sharing your feelings or listening to someone else, do not lie or put up a front about the way you feel. This mistake can cause distrust in your personal relationships.
No matter what, you should always back up what you say. By doing what you say you are going to do, this builds up your trust and character with others. People should be able to count on you, and when you are honest, you become a nicer and friendlier person overall.
Stop Complaining, Blaming Others, and Giving Excuses
Those who are friendly do not dwell on the negative things in life. You should make an exerted effort of self-awareness to distinguish the things you can and cannot and control. When you worry about complaining and giving excuses, you are using your energy in ways that can be used more positively. Instead of complaining, think of ways that you can look at it from a positive perspective and improve it.
For one day, work on not complaining about anything. Write down your observations and how you feel. You will find that you are a much happier, healthier person overall. If you avoid filling your head with negative thoughts or excuses, you will tend to spread good energy to others, which makes you a more excellent person.
Do Not Compare Yourself to Others
If you are constantly comparing yourself to other people, you will always be disappointed. The happiest people on earth compare themselves to who they were yesterday, last week, or last year. It takes a heightened level of self-awareness to realize that everyone’s journey and success path is different. Admire yourself for how far you have come in this life. Then, use that as momentum to build for the future.
This strategy applies to monitor how much nicer you are becoming. Focus on improving your outcomes with people within small conversations. Track your progress in your ability to listen, ask quality questions, and perform kind deeds for others. You should not only instill this in yourself but also communicate to others how much they have improved as people. They may need to hear it on their tough days.
Comparing your current self to your old self also prevents you from being jealous of others. Jealousy is a dangerous trait that brings out the worst in people. If you focus on developing as a human being without aligning yourself with other people’s goals, you will be a happier, healthier person overall.
Make Time for Others
When you give others the time of day, you also communicate a level of importance and gratitude for them. We all have goals that we want to achieve, and we need to maximize every second we have on this earth. But when you sacrifice your time to spend it in the enjoyment of someone else’s company, you will become more excellent. You will appreciate the unique personality and value that someone else gives.
Offering your valuable time to others is one of the best gifts that you can provide. You should be mindful of reaching out to people every week to grab a meal, do a physical activity together, or just dedicate time to talking about each other’s lives and other things that you are passionate about. You should pair this strategy with your punctuality, to communicate even more that you value their time.
Live in the Present Moment
Lastly, you should be mindful of bringing yourself to the present moment. It is easy to look into the past or worry about what we want to accomplish in the future. When you slow down and take time to appreciate the things around you, your positive energy will get transferred to others. People will perceive that you value your time with them, which makes you a nicer person overall.
When you give other people your undivided attention, they are more likely to be open with you and share their feelings and enjoyment with you. If you seem distracted by something else, people will not want to be around you. Your authenticity shines all the way through when your body language, eye contact, and energy is focused on making the most out of the current situation.
A great way to practice mindfulness is to remove your access to technology when you are spending time with people. This mindset will prevent you from being distracted and direct your attention to making the other person feel special. You will be a much nicer, happier person when you focus on connecting with someone else mentally and emotionally.
Conclusion: Live a Live for Others
There are a variety of different strategies to make yourself a more enjoyable person to be around. As you focus your attention on others and creating happiness in other people’s lives, you will notice how many more valuable relationships you build. These friendships and partnerships can open many opportunities to live and experience life more memorably and positively.
The most important thing is to live a life of service for others. Your value is reflective of your ability to put yourself in the shoes of others and find their passions. When you find out the formula to focus on other people’s desires, we are not only nice, but we are transforming them. When you develop your ability to be nicer, your mental health will improve, and you will have the energy to live a meaningful life.