No one wants to be the annoying person that everyone avoids. But we all have our oddball quirks, some that you might not even know. Some common annoying traits irritate the majority. But everyone has their own peeves as well. It can be hard trying to please the masses. While you can’t ensure that you won’t be annoying to everybody, you can use these tips to learn how to be less annoying in general.
What Does It Mean to Be Annoying?
Some people might not know what it means to be annoying. When someone is annoyed, it means they are irritated or frustrated. This emotion occurs when we’re faced with something of which we don’t approve. We’ve all got things that get on our nerves. Being exposed to it automatically puts you in a bad mood.
Heavy traffic. Detours. Rude people. Jehovah’s Witnesses knocking on your door. Nails on a chalkboard. Those frustrating car warranty calls. All of these things are considered annoying for just about everyone. When we deal with these situations, it can put you in a bad mood. Lord knows I’m the worst road rage driver I know.
When it comes to people, there are behaviors we might engage in, which can be considered annoying for many. The coworker who always shows you pictures of her cats’ parties and new outfits. The noisy eater that’s sitting at the table next to you. The obsessive bragger on your social media that documents every moment of their mundane lives like they’re someone the world needs to follow.
Words you often hear people use when they’re describing someone they consider annoying are:
- Irritating
- Provoking
- Bothering
- Harassing
- Exasperating
- Displeasing
- Annoying
Why Should You Learn to Be Less Annoying?
Most people would prefer to avoid spending time with someone who they find annoying. It can be hard not to lose your temper and say things you regret when you get distressed, which frequently happens when you have to be around someone who gets on your nerves. But most of us don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings. So we just stay away from them instead.
You wouldn’t want to be the person who receives the brunt of a person’s anger because they find you irritating. No one wants to be the person who gets left out of plans because everyone can only handle spending small amounts of time with you.
Having annoying tendencies can cause a lot of problems in your life, including loss of friends, difficulty with relationships, and even problems at work. I’m a firm believer that you should always be yourself, weirdness and all. With that said, I also think that you should be open to the possibility of self-improvement. None of us have life figured out. There’s always something new to learn.
How to Be Less Annoying
Everyone can benefit from self-improvement techniques. I’ve overcome a lot of challenges in my life by learning how to use self-reflection to identify my weaknesses. I’m not ashamed to admit that once upon a time, I used to come across as annoying. I didn’t realize it at the time. Most of us don’t.
I wasn’t living life honestly. I was hiding so much of my true self that I was awkward around people I considered friends. But real friends accept you for who you are. And they tell you the truth, even if it upsets you. My girl knows if I ask about my outfit, I want the truth. She better not let me go out looking like a joke.
I was trying so hard to fit in that I was making myself too exasperating to be around. Once I revamped my life and stopped hiding my personality to fit in, I realized a lot of stuff. It was a bit depressing to realize how far off course I’d let myself become just to impress people that didn’t give one hoot about me.
Once I became comfortable in my psyche, with letting the world see the real me, it started getting more comfortable for me to socialize. All those annoying traits I had that kept pushing people away were now gone. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be, and it’s a shame it took me over thirty years to figure it out. If you’re trying to learn how to be less annoying, here are some things you shouldn’t do.
Don’t Brag
One of the biggest peeves most people have is having to be around someone who is always bragging. It’s great to be proud of your accomplishments, but you don’t have to mention them all the time. Just like you don’t have to tell every person you meet.
Unless someone asks you about any exciting news or you’re swapping inspiring stories with someone, don’t bring up all the stuff you’ve done. No one wants to listen to someone who’s constantly talking about themselves. As a mother of four, I love talking about my kids. But it can get bothersome to hear story after story. I see that now.
Stop One Upping
We’ve all dealt with someone who always seems to compete with everyone else. If you’re sharing a story about your recent vacation, they’re there with photos of their even better one. If you’ve caught a big fish, they had a bigger one. If your car is fast, theirs is faster. You’ve done this, they’ve done that. It’s exhausting.
For a long time, I was the worst at this, without even knowing it. When I talk to someone, I try to find a way to relate to them, even if we don’t seem to have anything in common. Perhaps it’s the reason why I chose to study psychology. I love understanding people.
Part of my old method of relating was to share my own experiences with someone, in an attempt to show them that I get it. Some people saw my intentions for what they were, which was to form a bond. But other people saw it as me trying to show off. If you’re unsure of the person you’re talking to, don’t be a big sharer.
Stop Correcting Others
As I’ve said, I used to have a lot of annoying habits, and correcting others was another one of them. I’ve been accused of being a grammar nazi, and I agree it is true. I’m not ashamed to admit my faults. I’ve also been told I’m a know-it-all. I got this label because I was always correcting people.
I’m obsessed with learning new things. If I’m wrong, I don’t want someone to agree with me. I want an explanation, proof. Not because I don’t believe them but because I want to have the correct information. So naturally, I forget that not everyone is like me.
Some people don’t like to be corrected, even if they’re wrong. They especially don’t want it to happen in front of others. Being called out can make you feel embarrassed. For some people, it is considered an insult to their intelligence. Other people might find it a blow to their self esteem. Don’t risk being labeled as annoying by correcting others.
Avoid Interrupting
When you’re excited about something, it can be hard to contain it. You want to share it with people, especially those close to you. But you can have an epic fail if you deliver your news the wrong way. Such as interrupting your companion in the middle of the conversation, or even their sentence, to share your story.
In the middle of a fight, it’s easy to interrupt your partner so you can say your two cents. You’ve got your opinion, and you want to make sure it’s heard loud and clear. But when you cut someone off in the middle of their tirade, it can only make matters worse.
It can be difficult trying to talk to someone who is always interrupting you every time you start to say something. It’s one of my biggest pet peeves, and it’s taken a lot of work to learn to control myself, so I don’t lash out when dealing with this type of situation. Avoid the annoyance of interrupting. Wait for your turn to talk if you want to have a quality conversation.
Stop Being Noisy
The majority of the population hates to hear a person who smacks when they eat. I’m constantly criticizing my children for it, as my parents used to do to me. Talking with your mouth full doesn’t just look gross, but it’s unsanitary and sounds disgusting. The perfect way to make me lose my appetite.
With the recent outbreak of the Coronavirus, people have become vigilant about trying to stay uncontaminated. As someone who’s had Flu B hit my house three times this year (2020), with the flu shot, I can’t blame them. I understand being wary of someone who has the sniffles or who keeps coughing. But as a COPD patient, who suffers from a chronic cough that will never go away, I know how it feels to be shunned because of your symptoms.
People don’t like being around someone who has noisy behaviors. It could be making them paranoid, such as worrying they’re going to get sick. Or it could just be an irritating sound that makes you feel frustrated or stressed. I shudder every time I even think of nails on a chalkboard. If you have noisy habits, excuse yourself while you attend to the situation.
Don’t Be Patronizing
When you patronize someone, you belittle their achievements. Sometimes we are condescending towards someone because we’re jealous or we don’t like them. But other times, we might be doing it without realization. Most women have experience with receiving patronizing remarks from their mothers-in-law.
While I don’t have experience with bad mothers-in-law, I do have horror stories of an ex-aunt-in-law from Hell. Her favorite thing to always ask was, “How’s your hobby going?” In her eyes, I was a freeloader, allowing her nephew to support our family while I stayed home and wasted time with the foolish idea of being a writer. I was too lazy to get a real job.
What she failed to realize is that it would have been financially irresponsible for me to get a job outside of the home. I would be in the negative paying for daycare for four children and the gas to get to and from work. I know it irritates the dickens out of her now to see that I’m a successful writer who gets paid well. And I still work from home.
Avoid being an annoying person by watching how you phrase things. Don’t use belittling words when referring to something. “I heard about your promotion. Well, your new position. I’m not sure I’d call it a step up.” Or, “Your new boyfriend seems okay. But anyone’s better than the last few you’ve picked.”
Quit Being Cheap
We’ve all got that friend who always has an excuse for not being able to pick up the tab. It’s usually “I forgot my wallet.” or “I haven’t gotten paid yet.” No one wants to hang out with a freeloader who’s always bumming off of others.
It’s quite annoying actually to have to always pay for someone else’s stuff. I’ve got four kids, and I complain about all the crap they require. I sure don’t have the sympathy, or the extra funds, to be supporting my friends. Thankfully, I don’t have to worry about that.
My friend and I have an arrangement where we take turns picking up the check when we go out for dinner or to the movies. It’s always easier to pay one ticket instead of two, and let’s face it. Most of us don’t carry cash anymore, so it would be a waste of money to withdraw funds from the ATM to pay each other back. Don’t be that annoying person who expects others to pay their way.
Stop the Gossip
I’m sure you know somebody who can’t wait to text you any time they hear about a rumor. If someone you knew in high school went to jail, it’s this person’s business, and they know the whole story. Which they’re happy to tell everybody.
While I like to know details about other people’s lives, I prefer to hear it straight from the source. I hate being around people who want to gossip. I’ve always been told, “Those who gossip to you will gossip about you.” And it is certainly true. If someone doesn’t mind telling you someone else’s business, they’re going to have no problem telling people about you. Be careful who you let close.
If you want to avoid being considered annoying, don’t engage in gossip. Often, the rumors you’ve heard and repeat aren’t factual and end up hurting innocent people. Don’t talk about people behind their backs if you’re not going to say it to their faces. And don’t respond to gossip about yourself. You and you alone know what you do and don’t do. Who cares what everyone else thinks. It’s not worth the stress.
Don’t Feel Sorry for Yourself
When something goes awry in our life, it’s easy to wallow in our feelings for a bit. However, always complaining won’t solve anything. But it can make things worse. No one wants to listen to someone who is constantly whining. Especially if it’s a recurring situation. Ladies, if he’s cheated once, he’ll do it again. Stop bitching and move on. It’s for the best. I promise.
It’s normal to feel envious of others, even those closest to us. It doesn’t make you a bad person. There’s nothing wrong with us wanting things that we don’t have. It’s the American dream, isn’t it? To have a perfect life. But when you’re constantly comparing yourself to others and complaining about the differences, it can be tiresome.
My ex is the worst at trying to make people feel sorry for him. His wife abandoned him when he needed her support to help him get clean. He lost his children because I’m a scorned female who uses my kids as a weapon. Instead of feeling sorry for myself, I pull myself up and insist on being the better person in the situation.
Yet he refuses to see that our lives are different because we took different paths. I didn’t abandon him. I finally got smart enough to walk away after I caught him slipping up while I was in the hospital. It was the sixth time he’d gotten hooked. My kids didn’t need to see anymore.
And they don’t want to see him now. As a parent, I protect my children. Even if that means not forcing them to see someone who abandoned them with no regard for their well-being. I busted my butt to provide for my children when all the odds were stacked against me to fail. He never tried. Stop complaining and make some changes.
Quit Being Vain
Social media has made it super easy to keep up with people, no matter where they are. And forward-facing cameras have allowed a new trend to emerge. Welcome to the age of the Selfie. I won’t lie. I have been known to take selfies. But I rarely take them intending to post to social media.
I have no desire to have my life documented on Facebook and Instagram for the world to see. My boyfriend and I have all sorts of adventures, and yet you rarely see either of us post anything about it on our accounts. It’s good to have a private life outside of the digital world. You don’t have to share everything about your experiences.
I’m not trying to hurt anyone’s feelings, but no one cares about the pics you’re posting of your latest “epic” workout. And ladies, enough with the duck lips. It doesn’t make you look attractive. It looks like your lips got stuck in a vacuum cleaner. Stop being vain and posting constant pictures of yourself. If you want something to post to your social media, try taking pictures of stuff around you. Like landscapes, nature, whatever event you’re attending.
Stay Away from Drama
It can be amusing watching a couple have a huge fight. Even though you shouldn’t, you can’t help but watch the train wreck as it’s occurring. But when you become a part of the conflict, that’s when things can get messy. Drama follows some people like a lost puppy dog. It doesn’t matter where they’re at or who’s around. Something always pops off.
As someone who’s been through enough drama that I could make a reality TV show that would put Jerry Springer to shame, I cannot tell you how annoying it is for someone to bring their chaos to my door. Now that I’m in a better place, my life is quite peaceful. My boyfriend and I rarely disagree, and when we do, it’s tame.
But any time my ex worms his way into the picture, chaos arises. Whether it’s an issue with his newest girlfriend wanting to butt into the way I raise my children or an excuse as to why he can’t afford to pay child support but needs to borrow money, there’s always a crisis. I’ve suffered such severe stress that I’ve been hospitalized for internal bleeding due to ulcers.
Dealing with drama is exhaustive and bad for your health. And after a while, it becomes redundant. If you’ve noticed that people have stopped wanting to be around you because there’s always a conflict, it might be that your behavior has become annoying. Learn how to let it go. Or deal with it alone.
Keep Your Word
As a mom, I’m constantly busy. There’s always so much to do and rarely enough time to accomplish it all. I do my best to stick to a schedule but that proves impossible some days. But plans allow me to feel in control. I know what I have to do and when I’m doing it. When plans get broken, I get stressed. Because now, I have to refigure everything out.
If you want to avoid annoying people, be sure that you keep your word. If you say you’re going to do something, then follow through. I try to instill this value in my children. We often have silly wagers. If I lose, they get extra allowance. If they fail, they do extra chores. My kids are pretty conscientious of the fact that one parent, one income raises them, so they never wager large amounts that way I’m not shelling out large sums. They’re quite sweet.
But often, they don’t want to follow through on their end of the deal once they’ve lost. Or they say they’ve done it and haven’t. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard that they’ve finished their laundry only to check the washing machine a day later and find their clothes still inside. Hopefully, by teaching them the importance of keeping their word when they’re young, they’ll avoid being the annoying person who never does what they say they will.
Avoid Pessimism
Negativity is like a poison. Once you get into a bad mindset, it’s easy to see all the bad things in a situation without acknowledging the good. Some people keep a negative mindset throughout their lives. These people are called pessimists. They’re always assuming the worst.
I’ve always been a realist. I can see the situation from all sides, and I consider all the outcomes. So when I’m dealing with someone who’s being negative, I try to enlighten them with my optimism or positive thinking. Sometimes it helps. But other times, they’re so set in their thoughts that they won’t budge.
It can be annoying to spend time with someone who is always being a pessimist. “I don’t know why we chose this place. I’ve read the reviews. It’s going to suck.” When you’re exposed to negativity for too long, it can infect you so that you start to think the same way.
In some cases, it’s better to stay away from a pessimistic person rather than deal with the annoyance of getting in a bad mood because of them. Keep your negativity silent if you want to be less annoying to other people.
You’re Ready to Be Less Annoying
Using our suggestions, you can work on yourself so that you can stop being the annoying person that no one wants to hang out with. Remember that sometimes we’re irritating without intention or awareness. Observe those around you to see if they appear to be getting annoyed with your behavior. If they do, you might want to make some changes. We’ve told you how to be less annoying. Now it’s time for you to put your new knowledge to work. You’ve got this!