Stress is the worst. Sweat pools in uncomfortable places, your neck and shoulders tense, and bile builds up in the back of your throat. The long-term effects of stress are even worse. Loss of appetite, exhaustion, extreme sorrow, or anger can weigh you down and affect every aspect of your life.
What if you could change all of that? No, you can’t rid your life of stress permanently, but you can learn to manage it more effectively. With a little research and a lot of practice, you can act as a self-therapist and develop better coping skills and improve your mental health.
What is Therapy?
Therapy is a form of treatment to resolve a health issue. People go through physical therapy for physical injuries and receive chemotherapy to treat cancer. Others enter psychotherapy to treat mental health problems.
What is Psychotherapy?
Often known as talk therapy, psychotherapy is used to alleviate stress and reduce symptoms of mental illness. It involves an individual, couple, or family meeting with a mental health professional to discuss, evaluate, and address their issues.
Psychotherapy is usually a long-term approach that addresses thought processes, actions, and how the person, or people, react with the world around them. A psychotherapist may use one or several types of psychotherapy to treat a patient.
Understanding the Different Types of Therapy
Depending on a patient’s mental health conditions and individual issues, they may use different approaches over the course of treatment. Though there are many subcategories of psychotherapy, there are generally five main groups.
The Purpose of Psychoanalysis and Psychodynamic Therapy
Most often linked to Sigmund Freud, psychoanalysis relies on the discovery of the patient’s unconscious meanings and motivations. For this method to be successful, the therapist and patient must have a close relationship because it involves an in-depth exploration of dreams, behaviors, feelings, and thoughts.
Focusing on Behavior
Some therapists address mental health problems by examining problematic behaviors. They work with clients to change behavior and develop more accepted and positive reactions. For individuals suffering from extreme phobias, this approach may use controlled exposure to the trigger until they overcome the fear.
Addressing Your Thought Process
Cognitive therapy focuses on how people think. The premise is that their problems result from dysfunctional thoughts. Therapy addresses the dysfunctional thoughts to change them and ultimately alter the person’s feelings and actions.
Highlighting Humanity
Humanistic therapy relies on an individual’s ability to make rational choices and reach their potential while respecting others. Most humanistic therapists employ one of three subtypes.
- Client-centered therapy focuses on the client and empowers them to change through self-care.
- Gestalt therapy uses organismic holism to teach people how to be present and accept responsibility for themselves.
- Existential therapy urges people to seek meaning in their lives through free will and self-determination.
The Holistic Approach
The fifth group involves a combination of elements from different styles, known as integrative or holistic therapy. Therapists from this group customize their treatment plans to fit each person.
What is a Therapist?
A therapist is a licensed mental health professional who helps people work through emotional and psychological difficulties. They help clients develop coping mechanisms, deal with life challenges, and reduce symptoms of mental illness.
How Do People Become Therapists?
Since a therapist is a licensed professional, they have to complete education, training, and certification in the field of psychology. However, therapists can earn their credentials in different ways.
Different Types of Therapists
Therapists require a license to practice and take a behavioral approach to therapy. The term therapist applies to some psychologists, licensed social workers, counselors, and even family therapists. They generally have at least one advanced degree in their field of choice.
Licensed Mental Health Counselors usually complete a master’s degree in psychology or a related field. After graduate school, they spend at least two years working with a qualified mental health professional. They can evaluate and treat mental health issues with counseling and psychotherapy.
Clinical Social Workers earn a master’s degree in social work and complete additional training. They evaluate and treat mental illnesses with therapy, but they also work as case managers and patient advocates.
What is a Psychologist?
Psychologists can be therapists, but they usually have a doctoral degree and are generally state-certified. Typically, psychologists must meet a higher standard of ethics and confidentiality. Psychologists differ from other therapists because they can conduct clinical evaluations and diagnose mental illness.
It’s important to note that therapists and psychologists do not prescribe medication. They focus on therapy and counseling to work through and manage problems. Since psychologists can diagnose mental illness, they often work closely with psychiatrists or medical doctors when they feel patients could benefit from medication.
What Happens in Therapy?
There is a lot of misinformation about therapy sessions. What do you picture? Maybe you imagine a person sprawled on a leather couch spilling their childhood traumas to a therapist feverishly taking notes. In some cases, that may be the case, but more often than not, therapy sessions look much different.
What to Expect at the First Session
Like any first step, an initial therapy session involves introductions and form completion. It’s also the time to ask questions about the therapist’s treatment process. Plan to share a bit about your story and why you chose to start therapy.
At the initial session, a therapist will probably relay the key points of your story to ensure they understand you. They may offer some idea of what to expect moving forward and suggest short- and long-term goals.
Doing the Work in Routine Sessions
Regular therapy sessions serve to solve the problems you present to your therapist. The point of therapy is to help you work through personal issues, and that involves a lot of conversation. You should do most of the talking. It is an open, safe space for you to discuss your life, feelings, and stressors without criticism or judgment.
Some therapists take notes during the session while others way until after their client leaves. Many provide small goals, or homework, for their clients to complete before the next session. Results from those assignments lead off the discussion at the next meeting.
How Long Does Therapy Last?
Individual therapy sessions generally last one hour, though some run longer. Sessions can occur at varying intervals based on the needs of the client. Some people choose to attend weekly while others schedule monthly check-ins and rely on their own devices between sessions.
The big question that many people have about therapy is how long it takes. Unlike counseling, therapy is a long-term commitment to your mental health. The duration of treatment varies from person to person, so only the therapist and their client can make that determination.
Why Do People Go to Therapy?
Therapy is a valuable tool for solving problems, managing stress, and coping with mental health issues. However, it carries a stigma. For so long, people hid their stress and emotional turmoil out of fear. Historically, people with mental health issues were often mistreated and ostracized.
In recent years, the stigma surrounding mental health has faded. Several public figures openly admitted to receiving mental health treatment and encouraged others to seek help. Now, more people than ever seek help from therapists for various mental and emotional problems.
Learn About Yourself
Some people enter therapy to find themselves. When people feel lost or conflicted about major life choices, like relationships and careers, therapy can help. It also provides an outlet to work through anxiety and uncertainty in a safe space.
Seeing a therapist to address life goals and personal development is a good idea for many reasons. Your therapist serves as an impartial sounding board, and your session is a judgment-free zone. While friends and family are exceptional support systems, their experiences and view of you color the advice they give.
Improve Communication
Some people choose to attend therapy to improve communication skills. Therapists train to help people understand themselves and interact better with the world around them. They are excellent at teaching communication skills and assisting people in working through conflict.
Individuals, couples, and families may pursue therapy to work through significant issues that require long-term work. Therapists help improve communication and teach healthy methods for resolving conflict.
Therapy Can Provide Support
Grief and loss are common reasons for people to seek help in therapy. When we face significant life changes, like divorce or death of a loved one, it helps to have a safe space to talk about and work through our feelings. Therapists can also teach coping skills to manage grief.
Learn to Manage Stress
Stressful events, both good and bad, can be difficult to process and work through. Therapy can help people deal with anxiety and distress. Even exciting situations, like starting a new school, can cause distress that affects your ability to care for yourself. Therapists can help us manage these situations.
Address Mental Illness
When somebody is diagnosed with a mental illness, part of the treatment plan likely includes therapy. Conditions like depression, anxiety, phobias, and addiction may improve with therapy because a therapist can teach you healthy methods for coping with symptoms.
How to Be Your Own Therapist
It’s hard to ask for help, especially when we feel capable of handling things ourselves. We may feel that our problems aren’t as bad as others. Maybe seeing a therapist seems like a drastic step when we just need to manage stress better.
There are some excellent reasons to tap into your brain and attempt your own therapy. Learning tools to solve problems, make decisions, manage stress, and control strong emotions is possible with a little effort.
Assess Your Situation
To succeed in self-therapy, you need to recognize your true problems. For example, if you’re struggling with a short fuse, anger management techniques will only help so much. You need to figure out why you’re quick to lash out and address that issue.
It’s easy to mistake one problem for something else, so you’re going to have to do real work. Just because you choose to pass on professional therapy doesn’t mean you skip the uncomfortable or painful aspects of the work. Dig deep and learn to identify the common pitfalls that derail the success of therapy.
- Watch for perfectionist tendencies, especially when you demand too much of others. People don’t enjoy spending time with somebody who tears them down.
- Always say what you mean and mean what you say. Bottling up your emotions leads to emotional explosions. Honest, clear communication is critical to building and maintaining healthy mental health and social relationships.
- Embrace mistakes, don’t fear them. When you’re so afraid of making a mistake that you can’t take action or concentrate, you’re more likely to mess up.
- Make time for fun in your life. It’s commendable to work hard, but not at the expense of all enjoyment in your life.
- Hold yourself accountable. When you make mistakes and blame them on others, you give up control over your life. Owning your actions, even errors empowers you.
- Learn to let it go. Holding onto grudges and negativity makes you bitter, and people tend to avoid the negativity.
Remember, you can’t work through your problems until you know what they are and how they trigger you. Tracking your concerns and troubles in a journal is a great way to determine patterns and identify your true struggles.
Learning to Work Through Your Issues
Once you identify a problem to work through, you need to determine the best way to handle it. You may want to consider a combination of approaches. One thing is sure, it’s going to take some work to see a change.
Set Manageable Goals
Goals are excellent ways to address challenges in all aspects of your life. People set goals for weight loss and gain, for reading (and writing) books, and for saving money.
Remember to make your goals manageable. If you set unreachable goals, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Even if you have an extravagant goal, look for ways to break it down into smaller, attainable goals.
For example, you dream of saving one million dollars, but you’re currently living paycheck to paycheck. Look at ways to make small gains toward your larger goal. Maybe try saving $50 a month for a year. If that’s too much, try $10 or $25 per month. At the end of the year, re-evaluate and make a new goal.
When you set goals, it gives you something to aim for and occupies at least some brain space with positive energy. You can avoid some of the negativity and stress by focusing your energy on achieving positive goals.
Develop a Self-Care Routine
Creating a self-care routine is one of the best things you can do for your mental and physical well-being. Life is busy, and it’s easy to neglect the things that keep us balanced and healthy, like eating and sleeping, but it’s a huge mistake that can lead to serious problems.
Physical health problems can trigger extra stress, so keeping your body healthy is a priority. Eating a balanced diet and sleeping seven to eight hours per night is an excellent start. Adding an exercise routine is even better and provides you with an outlet for some of your stress and excess energy.
Caring for your physical health has a positive effect on your mental health as well. Sleep, proper diet, and exercise help balance mental drains and offset negative energy. If you’re still struggling with stress and focus, try adding meditation into your day.
Make Connections
Even the most solitary among us still crave connection. You don’t have to be the center of a large social circle, but forging solid relationships positively impacts your emotional health.
- Even one positive relationship increases happiness.
- Relationships give our lives purpose and meaning.
- Physical closeness with another person or pet causes your body to release oxytocin, which has a calming effect.
- Loved ones provide the support that helps us cope with adversity and face our fears.
Be careful not to exploit your relationships. Treat your loved ones with respect, show them you care, and express gratitude for their presence.
Develop New Coping Mechanisms
One of the most significant aspects of mental health is how you cope with stress and handle problems. Managing stress can be challenging under the best of circumstances, but when you factor in additional factors, it may feel impossible. Don’t let your problems overwhelm you. Look for ways to work through them.
Look for Alternative Solutions
Whether your current methods don’t work, or you are facing new challenges, it’s time to seek out new strategies. Cast a broad net for methods of coping and solving problems. Sometimes, looking at things in a different way opens your eyes to alternative solutions.
- Do your homework. Research how other people respond to problems like yours.
- Join a group. Support groups are excellent ways to talk with others and gain different perspectives on your issues.
- Seek spirituality. You don’t have to change your religion or join a new one to explore spirituality on a deeper level. Making a connection to your morals, values, and an idea that’s larger than you can help ease anxiety and fear.
Don’t Give in to Fear
Fear is a powerful feeling. It’s a warning sign and safety mechanism that encourages us to fight or run. It helps us make better choices in dangerous situations. However, when our fears extend beyond that function, they threaten our mental and emotional well-being.
Often, when you consider the worst possible outcome of dealing with your fear, it’s not as bad as you think. In the end, isn’t it better to conquer your fears than give in to them?
Learn About Your Fear
To address a particular fear, you need to understand it and give it a name. When you feel fear, consider the situation and what triggered the feeling. Describe the events in detail, including how you felt emotionally and physically. You can talk about it or write it down but include as much detail as possible.
Educate Yourself
With enough information about your triggers and reactions, you can research strategies that have worked for others in similar situations. Educate yourself on your fears because knowledge is power in most situations. Learning more about the source of your fear can reduce how much it frightens you.
Plan and Practice
If educating yourself on your fear doesn’t entirely resolve your problem, make a plan, and practice facing your triggers. Slowly work up to facing your fear by breaking it down into smaller pieces.
For example, your fear is speaking in front of large audiences, but your boss scheduled you to give a presentation for work. Start small by practicing your presentation in front of a mirror. When you’re confident, practice for a few loved ones. Then, try a small group of coworkers. Each time you conquer a larger group, you pick away at your fear.
Signs You Should See a Professional
If you tried everything and still can’t manage your stress or symptoms, it may be time to seek professional help. You don’t have to be “crazy” or embarrassed to ask for help; thousands of people do it every year.
- When it becomes a struggle to regulate your emotions, and you notice that you’re lashing out or withdrawing more than usual, it may be time to see a therapist.
- A continuous decline in your school or work performance could suggest underlying difficulties that aren’t responding to what you’re trying.
- Chronic disruptions to daily living activities, like sleeping, eating, and bathing, could indicate a deeper problem that won’t resolve on its own.
- If you have difficulty socially to the point that you can’t make or keep friends, you may need help. A therapist could teach you better communication and social skills so you can establish normal social relationships.
Think of it this way, if you have a bruised leg, you can probably treat that yourself with rest. On the other hand, if the pain doesn’t go away or worsens, you may need to see a medical doctor for x-rays and further assessment. Why wouldn’t you treat your mental health the same as your physical health?
How to Find the Right Therapist
Finding the right therapist for you may take a little effort. It’s more involved than seeking a medical doctor in most cases because it’s more intimate. You may have to meet with a few therapists until you find the right one for you.
Start with Your Insurance Plan
Despite the gains mental health services made in reducing their stigma over the past several years, insurance providers still restrict access to certain specialists. Contact your provider for a list of professionals in your network to avoid paying too much out of pocket.
Double-check on billing arrangements, co-pays, and deductibles. Some professionals will work out payment plans to ensure you receive the treatment you need.
Consider the Specialty
Think about what you hope to accomplish and find a professional who specializes in that area. For example, if you have PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder), you may want to see a clinical psychologist or social worker. That means you could cross off all of the psychiatrists on your list.
Do Your Homework
We live in the age of technology – and scathingly honest review sites. Before heading into a therapist’s office, check them out on review sites. Yelp and Healthgrades are good places to get started, but be wary of professionals with too many generic comments or an unbalanced number of perfect ratings.
Ask About Treatment Methods
If you think holistic therapy is pointless and useless, then you probably don’t want to see a therapist who uses only that method. Find out what treatments the therapist prefers to use and what they would suggest in your situation.
You Need Chemistry
Therapy is about sharing your innermost thoughts and feelings, so you should probably like your therapist and feel comfortable sharing those things. While your therapist should establish boundaries for your relationship, you should still feel like you’re talking with a close friend during sessions.
Is Therapy Working?
You probably won’t see results immediately. Remember, therapy is a long-term process, and it takes time to establish a relationship with a therapist. You may feel exposed or raw after your first few sessions, but if those feelings continue for several sessions, then something probably isn’t working for you.
If you question the effectiveness of your therapy sessions, discuss your concerns with your therapist. Honesty is critical to the therapy process, and if you can’t be open about your feelings, it’s probably not the right situation for you.
Take Control of Your Problems and Your Life
Whether you decide to manage your issues on your own or with the help of a therapist, you need to pay attention to your mental health. Life is too short to be miserable, anxious, grief-stricken, or paralyzed by fear. Take the time to ease your mind and gain control over your life.