Every good leader has at least one thing in common: excellent decision-making skills. To some of us, the importance of decision making may get lost in translation. Is it really that big of a deal to be able to make decisions? Don’t we all make decisions every single day in our routine lives?
The answer, of course, is yes. And perhaps that should elevate just how vital decision making actually is. Because making decisions is something we all have to do, it’s essential that we really hone those skills and become more critical and analytical in the choices we make.
Decision Making in Life
One of the main reasons as to why decision making is such a crucial skill to have is because it is a prevalent part of our lives. Throughout our personal experience, our family life, our relationships, careers, and education, we all have to make tough choices that can have impacts ranging from minimal to life-changing.
Personal
Probably the most frequent kind of decision making in your life, personal decisions shape the structure and framework for everything we do, feel, think, and believe. On a personal level, we make decisions all the time that impact our lives.
Personal decisions range from small-scale and seemingly inconsequential to monumental. We can choose to eat a healthy apple rather than a sugary donut, and we can determine whether we want to marry our significant other. While one seems much larger than the other in the grand scheme of things, they both share the commonality that they affect our lives in some way.
Personal decisions touch every other aspect of our lives. What we choose can affect our families, our relationships, and our career goals. Smaller choices can also impact our finances, our spirituality, and our health.
Some people are lucky to know exactly what it is they believe, what they want out of life, and what their deepest desires are. Others of us need to practice our decision-making skills and map out a plan: a list of potential choices, pros and cons, possible outcomes.
Regardless of if your personal choice involves ending a relationship or going to the gym, there are a few tools you can use in this area to make better decisions.
Identify Your Values
If you don’t know your own values, it’s going to become extremely difficult to make solidified decisions in your life. Many of our decisions are based on our values. Someone who values their relationships will make choices to spend time with loved ones, do thoughtful things for their friends, and make time to listen to their significant other. Someone else who values giving may choose to volunteer at a shelter or donate to a charitable cause.
Outlining your values will help you determine what’s important to you. Something that is important to you might be vastly different from someone else. You may be a leader who values productivity and an upwards amount of cash flow, while another leader might value interpersonal relationships and a company’s reputation above those things.
The above scenario is essential to consider because those two leaders will likely make very different decisions in the workplace. The same goes for your personal life. If you value your relationships over all else, you will probably not choose to spend extra hours at the office, followed by a two-hour trip to the gym. However, someone who values financial security might be willing to sacrifice family time for a bonus in their paycheck.
Identify your values, and subsequently, you will determine your motivators. Common motivators can be family, freedom, money, intimacy, accomplishment, recognition, and spirituality. If you feel strongly about any of these things, then your decisions should reflect that.
Narrow Down Your Values
When asked what our values are, many of us could probably come up with a lengthy list of things that are important to us. However, not all of these things will be critical drivers in our life. We might value our time alone, but that isn’t going to be what drives your choices at work, at home, or in school.
After you come up with your list of personal values, you should narrow it down to your top three. Think about the values that have delivered the most success in your life. Perhaps your value for deep relationships was what landed you your marriage, and your value for quality work earned you a promotion at work.
The other values you hold in your life are no less important, but there’s a good chance that a few select values stand out against the rest and have produced more fruit than the others have. Take time to narrow down what you find important in your life and use them to better understand yourself and your motivation in your decision making.
Apply Values to Decisions
Once you have your top three values nailed down, you can now use them as a measuring stick for all of your decisions. In this step, it’s important to have integrity in your convictions. When it comes time to your decision, ask yourself if it aligns with any of your values.
Don’t be flighty in this area; your answer should always be yes or no. At this point, it becomes about honesty with yourself. If you can’t answer with a direct yes or no, then you’ve either been dishonest about the decision, or you’ve been dishonest about your core values.
The goal is to make decisions with a solid “yes” in each value. If your decision renders three yes’s (as in, all three of your top values align with your decision), then you know you are making the right choice.
A combination of yes’s and no’s isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it just might mean you need to do a little more thinking, digging, and possibly adjusting. In this case, go back over your yes’s, and your no’s and see if you can adjust the situation to change those answers.
When your decisions do not align with your values, your life can quickly become unbalanced, and you may become unhappy and unproductive.
Family
Family decisions can be challenging to make because they affect not just you, but those closest to you. On top of that, many families take different routes in terms of decision making.
In some families, the grand decisions come from the top of the totem pole: the parents. And, even between parents, decision making can look different from family to family.
Parents, whether married or separated, often make significant decisions for the sake of their families. They decide the family’s spending budget, where the family will live, what they will eat, and what the family’s values will be. This is especially true for parents of younger children who are not yet mature enough to make big decisions on their own.
Between a couple, decisions might vary. One person might take the reins on financial decisions while the other makes decisions on vacations and other activity planning. This all depends on the individual values of those involved as well as the values that a couple has established between them.
Of course, making family decisions can be tough because of everyone’s varying opinions, values, and ways of seeing things. Because of this, there are often several different strategies that families use in their decision making.
Bargaining
Bargaining is a common strategy used in families during the decision making process. Many decisions that a family makes come with pros and cons, and they often involve some sort of expense or sacrifice. Therefore, bargaining can help even the playing fields when a particular decision seems extreme or unfair.
For example, a child may ask to go away on vacation with his friends family. Initially, the answer might be no. There may be expenses involved that the family can’t add to their budget. In an attempt to bargain, the child could propose to work mowing lawns, babysit, or do odd jobs to earn his stay.
Additionally, a bargaining strategy might look like both parties receiving something rather than one. A husband might want to get a new truck, and a wife might agree as long as she gets to redecorate the bedroom how she likes.
Parents might decide to only get the family a puppy if the kids agree to be the ones to take care of it.
Reasoning
Unlike bargaining, reasoning offers pertinent information rather than anything else in return. The reasoning strategy involves trying to convince the other players in the situation to see their side. Through a logical argument, someone might use reasoning to sway someone else.
In some cases, this is a good approach because it involves an intelligent conversation rather than a hectic argument. However, in other cases, reasoning can look more like manipulation. Initial reasoning is okay, but when the reasoner continues to berate other people afterward, it becomes a wearing down process.
Many parents or spouses could see this as manipulative and disrespectful. While some may call it persistence, others can see it as annoying and rude. In fact, too much reasoning and over-reasoning might lead others to choose the decision opposite of what you want, just to spite you. This result is especially common among family members who are not afraid to be brutally honest at times.
Reasoning is a useful tool when used correctly and can be a great way to help children understand a parent’s decision and vice-versa.
Impression Management
Impression management is often used in family decision making to make one option appear better than another, or perhaps even better than it actually is. Individuals can try to put a spin on what they think should be the decision made by making it sound appealing or giving it benefits that are not necessarily true.
At the very least, impression management may portray things that could be true but are not likely to be the real driving factor behind the decision.
Consider a teenage boy who wants a new gaming system. His parents see it as an expensive distraction that will rot his brain and take away time from family, friends, and school work. The child might try to make the argument that the new gaming system will bring him and his brother closer together because they can play at the same time and bond.
A man might want to decide on the more giant, more expensive television for the family room while his wife sees a smaller TV for a more reasonable price. The man might try to give the impression that a larger television will be better for hosting parties and letting the kids watch educational programs, even though he genuinely just wants to watch his favorite sports team on a large screen.
Impression management is used widely by all members of families, from children to parents and everywhere in between. If someone can make their decision look better to someone else, it turns into a vote on their side.
Authority
There comes a time in family decision making when authority has to come into play. Authority comes from a couple of different places. The “man of the house” might claim authority over all major decisions because he’s the head of the family. A woman might claim authority over decisions involving the children because she birthed them and is their main caretaker.
Even the oldest of a group of siblings can claim authority simply because they have been alive the longest and are often left in charge anyway.
A lot of families try to avoid using authority as their reasoning behind calling the shots and making decisions. Talking things out gives everyone a voice and makes decision making a family affair.
However, in complex situations or ones that can’t be resolved, authority might be the ultimate answer. In a case where two children are arguing, the parents might step in a decide who is wrong and what their punishment will be.
The oldest sibling in the room might call on authority to decide what everyone will watch on television, while a mom could pull out the old “because I said so” when her decisions are questioned.
Authority is often linked with leadership, so it’s no surprise that it should have a hand in the decision-making process – even within the family setting.
Emotion
Sometimes family members will pull out emotions in order to drive decisions in their direction. We most often see this in the form of tears. A young child who doesn’t get his way might throw a fit and cry. A teenage girl may cry to make her parents feel bad for her.
Some people in a family might even get angry to show how serious they are about their decision and convictions.
When discussing a serious issue that requires a decision, a husband and wife might display fear or worry about their next step.
We can often tell our opinion on a decision based on how it makes us feel. One option might make us feel sad and overlooked, while another could make us feel seen and appreciated. This plays a big part in how families make decisions together.
Relationships
In relationships outside of the family setting, we often have to make decisions that affect someone other than ourselves. It can be challenging to do this, as our relationships are important to us, and hurting someone isn’t something we enjoy doing.
The most apparent instance of making decisions in a relationship is within a marriage setting. Many married couples will tell you that they make decisions together, or that they never make big decisions without consulting the other. That is because two lives have come together to form a new one, and you’re no longer acting on your own accord anymore; someone else depends on you and trusts you.
In fact, you may have even heard a married friend say, “let me talk to my wife about that first.” Not only is that pure consideration for another human being, but it shows a great level of respect towards your partner.
In considering the other during decisions, you show that their opinion and input matter to you. However, this can also be one of the toughest adjustments in marriage for some people, especially those who are naturally independent.
A single woman can spend her money however she likes, but once she gets married, the couple has to make new decisions on budgets, bills, and spending habits together. If the woman decides to continue spending her money as she pleases, it could mean financial ruin for the couple.
While a weekend away with the guys was never an issue before, a married man has to check with his wife before deciding to just up and leave for the trip. He has an absolute obligation to her, and so it becomes a joint decision-making process.
When it comes to interpersonal relationships, decisions are not only super important, but they work best when the playing field is level.
Education
Decisions that we make in our education are significant because our education usually indicates the direction of the rest of our lives.
At an early age, decisions in education are managed by our parents or guardians. These decisions can include which school districts are best, is private or public education the best choice, or even the decision to do homeschooling.
When we get a little older, we make decisions based on our education in our class schedules, our school activities, and whether we’re going to study or go out with friends.
And finally, when high school comes to an end, many of us make the decision to either extend our education at a university or a trade school or enter directly into the workforce.
If you decide to get a degree and go to college, you have to decide what you want to study. This decision will point you in the direction of a career path, which may lead to more education, internships, programs, and volunteer opportunities.
For some teenagers, deciding where to go to college can be one of the most stressful decisions they will ever make. Educational choices are just as important as other decisions in our lives because they often lead us to where we end up as adults.
Career
Most often, decision making affects the leaders of the world. Whether you’re a politician or a teacher, your leadership involves making tough decisions that you and you alone will hold responsibility for.
Consider possibly the most important leadership position in the world: the President of the United States. As a leader to a country of millions of citizens, the President holds the responsibility of making impactful decisions every single day that impact so many people. It’s a hefty job, and without decision-making skills, it would be nearly impossible to succeed in it.
On a more relatable level, bosses within the workplace have to make decisions every day as well. Managers exist for the purpose of controlling operations in a profitable and productive way. Their decisions could mean the difference between prosperity and failure.
An indecisive leader causes nothing but confusion, disorganization, and chaos in a company. Their failure to even make a decision can drive operations into the ground, halting production and holding up crucial actions.
A leader who is decisive is desirable; however, quick decision making doesn’t always mean good decision making. One of the delicate balances that professionals have to master in a leadership role is making quick, sound decisions.
This balancing act involves developing a way to think critically about the situation at hand while also delivering actions in a timely manner. Someone who thinks things through deeply and analytically is helpful, but if they take too long to come to a decision, everything productive has to wait on them.
You know what they say: time is money.
Making snap decisions based on little to no thought or consideration can be just as bad. A leader who uses this strategy might get lucky here and there and end up with the right decision just based on probability, but at some point, this technique will come back to bite him.
Decision making in your career also means standing by your choices. A company can’t afford to work with a leader who flip-flops between his decisions. Likewise, a good decision-maker needs to be able to take responsibility when his choices go awry.
Decision making in your career can ultimately lead to two things: advancement or termination.
Decision-Making Skills
They are a few skills that play into good, strong decision making. A skill in itself, it is made up of other skills that drive the process and allow for productivity, critical thinking, and successful results.
Planning
Decision making requires an individual to have excellent planning skills. Decisions that are made in all areas of life can have long-lasting effects, so a person needs to be able to plan out not only the steps leading up to the decision but the steps that will come after.
Decision making typically means that there is more than one course of option. That means that whoever is making the decision needs to be able to think through each option with the mindset that they will have to plan around their choice and with their choice. Without planning skills, an individual would have a hard time logically backing up any decision that they have made. They will also struggle to keep the ball rolling once the decision has been made and put into action.
Organization
Organization is another key element of decision making. Depending on the depth of the issue at hand, there might be a lot of information for a person, a family, or a team to consider. All of that data can get jumbled up pretty quickly without organization.
Organization is also important during processes that include more than one person. You need to be able to organize the discussion process, the information, the presentations, and the ramifications into ways that allow others to understand what’s going on.
An organized person has things sorted out, making it easy to sift through either mentally or physically. A lack of organization results in someone pulling at random straws until something makes sense, which is neither efficient nor effective.
Leadership
Finally, good leadership leads to quality decision making. In fact, many professionals will highlight decision making as one of their key skills in their resume because it demonstrates good leadership.
The two elements bounce off of one another. If you’re a good leader, you likely make good decisions. If you make good decisions, you are noticed as a good leader.
A good leader can take charge and make the tough decisions that no one else can – and no one else wants to. They own the responsibility it takes to make the hard calls and drive companies, teams, and organizations to overall success.
When it comes to decision making, not a lot of people want to step up and hold onto that responsibility. It takes true leadership to be able to rise to the occasion despite the fear that something might go wrong and might not work out the way they planned it.