Living without love can be something you have decided to do. Or maybe it’s based on circumstances; either way, we are here to tell you that it is possible. Before we talk about how to live without love, we need to understand what love is and the different types of love. Love is not linear, and it is different for every person.
As humans, we are all unique. Therefore we show love and feel love differently. Although this article is all about how to live without love, you must understand that love for yourself doesn’t count. You should ALWAYS love yourself because you are all you got. Self-love is something that we should always practice.
It can be you doing your hair and makeup, or going to the nail salon and having a spa day by yourself. Self-love can also be not settling for less than you deserve. It is your choice to choose whether you want to live with or without love, don’t let anyone make that decision for you.
If you do choose to live without love, understand that you are not alone.
Types of Love
There are many types of love. Love can be healthy, but love can also be toxic. Love can be exciting, but it can be dangerous too. It is so versatile, and there are distinct types of love that people feel as well as give. We digest and give love differently, depending on who it is. We love our family members differently than we love our spouses.
Feelings of love can also be stronger depending on who it is towards.
Love for Family
The love of your family is the love you have for your parents, children, grandparents, siblings, cousins, uncles and aunts. This love can be mutual, or it can be one-sided. The love you have for your family can be developed throughout your childhood, or it can surface during your adult years.
Just because a person is a member of your family doesn’t mean that they can treat you anyway. Toxic, is toxic no matter who or where it comes from. If you find that people in your family drain the life out of you, don’t be afraid to back away.
With that being said, if you have a great family, try to spend as much time with them as you can (especially if you are single). Reconnecting with siblings and parents can be bittersweet.
Love of Self
As described above, this is an essential kind of love. Self-love is defined as the love of ourselves, and it means putting us first. Believe it or not, a lot of people don’t put themselves first; they put others first. It can cause a lot of problems in the long run.
When you finally learn to love yourself, you become content. You can fail and not do well but still love yourself. The love you have for yourself shouldn’t be determined by how well you think you are doing in life.
Love for Friends
Love for friends can be friends that you grew up with, friends you’ve had your whole life, or a new friend that you just made at work. Having friends is fun but not necessary to live a fulfilling life. If you are an introvert or just tired of people stabbing you in the back, you can steer away from having lots of friends.
Everyone knows that all you need is a small circle. If you are anything like me and an introvert, then you can thrive by being anti-social. We are taught at such a young age to go out and make friends, but some people are comfortable being by themselves, and that is okay.
The love you have for friends won’t be as intense as a love for a partner. It resembles more of a love for family members. Just like your family friends can become really important after a break up or a decision to be without a partner.
Love for Pets
Love from your pet is arguably one of the best kinds of love to feel. Whether you have a cute dog, a sassy cat, turtle, or a hamster, you can feel a strong emotional connection to your pet. Domestic pets become part of our family. They can turn out to be best friends and truthfully the only friends you need.
If you are aiming for life without love, do yourself a favor and get a furry friend. I promise you won’t be disappointed.
Love for Higher Power
If you are religious or spiritual, this is for you. Among having a love for people, there can be a love of a higher power. It doesn’t matter what religion you are or who your worship, you can have a desire to get more connected to a higher power.
If you are not religious, finding love in a higher power can be difficult. It’s something that you can’t actually see, but if you believe it, it’s there. Many people who turn away from relationships, turn to God or some sort of higher being.
Love for Partners
Love for your partner would be intense and extreme. It is the kind of love that can make or break you. There are people in life who have felt an intense passion for a person, that doesn’t guarantee that they will be loved.
You never really know when it comes to this love. It is the kind of love that you can opt-out. You don’t need a partner to live a meaningful life.
What is Love?
We all may think we know what love is because we hear the word so often. Love is often used by artists, writers, scientists, poets, etc. There are millions of movies and books based on love. Every other song we hear on the radio talks about it. Love can have different definitions. These definitions can be based on your ethnicity, race, age, religion, sexual orientation, etc.
It can be seen as putting others before your happiness. It can be feelings of need and affection, as well as a strong feeling of attachment. It can also be a choice to commit, whether it be to being a parent or being in a marriage. Love can be both a feeling and an action.
Love as an action would look like prioritizing your partner’s well-being (sometimes over your own). It would have an open and honest communication system. It could look like bringing up topics that are hard to talk about, like family problems or problems with an ex.
It would be affectionate and a partnership. The feelings between the two would be mutual and not one-sided; when love is a feeling, it usually can be intense. It is filled with pleasure, excitement, joy, and sometimes fear. You could very well feel a strong love for someone, and they can not feel the same thing for you.
Love can be overwhelming with many distinct emotions. We see so many films that construct love to be one specific way, when, in fact, that is impossible. There are so many different types of ways to love and be loved.
Love vs. Lust
We often mix up love and lust. Lust is more of a sexual attraction than an emotional appeal. Lust requires a lot of imagination. The feelings of lustful desire are usually intense early on, whereas, with love, the feelings start to develop and grow stronger over time. The most common sign of lust wants to have a sexual relationship without commitment or emotional attachment.
Signs of lust include being solely focused on persons outside appearance like their bodies and how they look. Another sign is not wanting to communicate outside of having sex. Love is usually a feeling of admiration and involves commitment. When you are in love with someone, you are willing to try and build a life together. You picture your futures intertwined.
Lust can be seen as unfavorable, but it is not necessarily a bad thing. There are many people who are in lustful relationships and are not negatively affected by it. Friends with benefits have become more popular, and there are even movies that describe the relationship.
You can live a happy life without love, but it doesn’t mean you have to give up sex. Now in today’s age, you should feel free of judgment of wanting to pursue relationships without commitment or even connections with multiple people as long as you are safe. In the age of liberation, don’t be afraid to cater to your wants and needs, even if they don’t seem “ideal.”
How to Cope
If you want to learn how to live without love, you need to learn how to cope. There will be times where you feel lonely. There will be times where you will see your friends in loving relationships. You may scroll through your Instagram feed and see a flood of perfect happy couples. Those feelings are normal.
The essential piece of coping is to do it healthily. It is easier to find unhealthy ways of coping than it is to seek out healthy ones. Unhealthy coping would look like drinking, taking substances, engaging in risky sexual behaviors, etc. Healthy coping would look like spending more time with yourself and getting to know you.
Being single is not as bad as people make it out to be. Some people have been single for the majority of their life, and they are happy. There are two healthy ways you can cope and learn to live without love.
Spending Time Alone
The best way to deal with being alone and live a life without love is to get attuned with yourself. They say the best time to do this is when you are single. You can simply spend time alone in your room, binge-watching your favorite series, or reading a new book.
You could also just sit and listen to music. If you are trying to learn more about yourself, engage in writing. Find a guided journal that asks profound questions. Go to the movie theaters alone and see a film you have been dying to see. You don’t need a date.
You can even go out to eat by yourself. The more you learn to be alone, the more comfortable it will be living without love. If you can go out and do your favorite things alone, you will learn to love yourself and learn that is the best kind of love.
It is also the chance for you to take on new hobbies, ones you have always wanted to try. Maybe you wanted to get into cycling or want to join a cooking club or book club. When you spend time alone, you allow yourself to explore.
Spending Time with Friends
If you can’t stomach the thought of pulling up to the bowling alley alone, feel free to reach out to friends. When you are alone, that is the perfect time to catch up. You can choose to hang out with old friends, current friends, or even some new friends. If you want you could have a get together at your place.
Without love from a partner, your love from your friends can be significant and play a big role in coping without other types of love. On the days that you are missing your ex or days where you are particularly lonely, feel free to shoot your pals a text to see if you can grab lunch or even vent.
Living Without Love Short Term
Living without love short term can be for a few weeks, months, or even a year. If you are trying to live without love for a short amount of time, it is essential to set goals for yourself. In the time that you want to live without love, make a sheet of all that you want to accomplish. Maybe you want to focus more on school or your career.
Or maybe you just need to take time for yourself to grow. Living without love in the short term is a bit easier than in the long run. There are many reasons why you would want to live without love for a short time. Maybe you just broke up with your ex and needed to take time for yourself before you get into another relationship, or perhaps you’re just single and challenging yourself.
Understand that no matter how long you are going to go without love, it is going to be an adjustment.
Living Without Love Long Term
Living without love long term can be anywhere from a few years to possibly the rest of your life. If you are asking why anyone would want to live without love, think again. Living without love means that there is no stress from a partner; you don’t have to spend money on gifts or date nights, and the only well being you need to be worried about is your own.
There can be a variety of reasons why someone would want to live without love for the rest of their life. Someone could have been in a very unhealthy relationship and can be scared of it. People could also genuinely enjoy being alone. Whichever one do you understand that you can live without love despite what people say?
Staying Positive
There are going to be people who are cynical about your decision to live without love. Just because their negative doesn’t mean you have to be too. The key to living a life without love is to stay positive. Stay positive when your friends or family say mean things about your decision.
Stay positive when your ex tries to get into your head. Staying positive is a lot easier said than done, especially when you live in a world that makes love the peak of existence.
There are many ways you can stay positive:
- Always look on the bright side
- Trust in yourself, don’t let people try to convince you of something you don’t want
- Trust in your choice. If you chose to be single and live life without love, stick with that decision.
- Try meditation or yoga. A lot of people who are learning to be intuned with themselves experiment with meditation and yoga
- Express gratitude daily
Be Kind
A lot of people preach that without love, there is no point in living, and that is not true. We, as people, are not defined by who we are with. There are a plethora of myths about people who choose not to be in a relationship.
Just because you are living a life without love, it does not mean you have a right to be mean and angry about it. It is a myth that people who live without love are bitter. We see movies like The Grinch and The Christmas Carol and assume that if we don’t have love in our life, we won’t be kind or find happiness. That is not the case.
If you are used to being in relationships and being in love, it will make adjustments. It will feel uncomfortable at first, and you will question if it is possible, know that it is. Always remain kind even when you may not feel like doing much or also if people are pushing your buttons.
Whether you chose too or not, living without love can be done, and you can be happy while doing it.
Toxic Love is Dangerous
Toxic love can be damaging to your self-confidence and overall mental health. It is vital to understand the signs of a toxic relationship and understand when to get out. Toxic relationships don’t always look all bad, which is why it can be difficult to tell if you are in one.
Most of the time, people don’t realize they are in a toxic relationship until they face the consequences mentally, emotionally, or physically, which can be dangerous. Red flags and signs can show themselves early on, but when we are in “love,” we tend to ignore these red flags. We start to make excuses for our partners, not treating us the way we deserve to be treated.
We say things like “he won’t do that again” or “she didn’t mean it.” In doing that, we are allowing our partners to keep treating us with a lack of respect and love. Toxic love is dangerous, and it affects not only your mental health, but it can change how you view the world and improve your future relationships.
That is why it’s crucial to leave a toxic relationship. You don’t have to live without love forever, it can be a short term situation, but living a life without love is much better than staying in a toxic relationship because you want to be loved.
Joy in Being Single
We see so many memes and things about the single life; some people enjoy it while others dread it. The truth is you are not alone in your choice to ride solo. According to The Washington Post, a little over half of the people aged 18-34 have no steady partner. It means that there are so many people in your shoes right now!
Some are choosing to live their life without love, and others whose circumstances may have made them have to be single, whichever one is, you just know that you can enjoy the single life! You can always find joy in being alone.
The Kind of Love You Can Live Without
If you have a choice living without love from your family and friends is not recommended. The only kind that is not needed is love regarding romantic relationships. We are taught so young that we are meant to live with people, get married, and have children. It is all now a choice.
In all honesty, you probably need your family, especially if you are going to be alone. In most cases, your family loves you unconditionally, and that kind of love is hard to come by. You only get one family, and they can potentially be there during your worst moments.
You should also consider having a love for and from friends, although it’s less important than family. Some people have friends who have turned to family, and when you are not hanging with a potential partner, you may want to hang with people your age.
If you are not going to be in a romantic relationship, you still need some type of human connection of love. It is not healthy to completely detach yourself from love; you should experience it in other forms.
If you find that you don’t have a good relationship with your friends or family, then you are going to have to detach yourself psychologically. We are made to love one another, and if you choose to shut that off, it is going to take some time. You are also going to have to block your emotions.
Leading a Happy Life Without Romantic Relationships
Happiness is different for every person. Some find joy in simple things in life, while others find satisfaction in people and items. Whatever makes you happy, you should do ( as long as it’s legal and safe). Romantic relationships should not be what fulfills you.
Focus on trying to live a life that makes you satisfied and fulfilled.
Pursue Your Dreams
Whether you have dreams of being a singer, lawyer, artist, know that your goals are not too big. If you put your mind to it and put in the work, you can do anything. If you just have simple career dreams, it is vital that during your time of being alone, you pursue your dreams. There are a lot of times where relationships prohibit us from fulfilling our dreams.
To lead a happy life without a romantic partner, find a job or career that you love, one that makes you excited to wake up in the morning. They say if you like what you do, then it does not work. Follow your passions, no matter how big or small they are. When you pursue your dreams, you forget about not being in a relationship.
Live in Moment
Living in the moment can be difficult. We usually focus on the past or the future but never the present. The past has already happened, and there is nothing you can do about it. Get rid of continually thinking about what happened, especially if there were relationship struggles in there.
The past can do nothing for you. If your history was more harmful than the past can be what is stopping you from living a happy life. They always say to look forward, and that is true, but just know that there is danger in always looking into the future as well.
If you find yourself predicting how your life is going to be, you should take a step back. Live in the moment because tomorrow is not promised.
Celebrate Yourself
Whenever you accomplish a goal, big or small, celebrate your victories. Instead of thinking, I have to do something, acknowledge that you did it, and then pat yourself on the back. Celebrating your achievements allows you to gain confidence; when you are learning how to live without love, confidence is essential.
The more confident you are, the more independent you will be. Celebrating yourself also allows you to be happy for yourself, and if you want to live without love successfully, you need to continually do what you can to find happiness in other places.